Dating violences

What is Dating Abuse? Dating abuse (also known as dating violence, intimate partner violence, or relationship abuse) is a pattern of abusive behaviors -- usually a series of abusive behaviors over a course of time -- used to exert power and control over a dating partner. Every relationship is different, but the things that unhealthy and abusive relationships have in common are issues of power ... Dating Violence is violence committed by a person, who is in or has been in a social relationship of a romantic of intimate nature with the Complainant. The existence of such a relationship shall be determined based on the Complainant’s statement and with consideration of the length of the relationship, the type of relationship, and the ... About Dating Violence; It's About Power and Control This wheel represents a snapshot of what a violent teen dating relationship looks like. While it doesn't cover every survivor's experience, it does portray the most common tactics teen abusers use against their dating partners. The term “dating violence” means violence committed by a person who is or has been in a social relationship of a romantic or intimate nature with the victim and where the existence of such a relationship shall be determined based on a consideration of the following factors: the length of the relationship; the type of relationship; and the ... Teen dating violence (TDV), also referred to as “dating violence”, affects millions of teens in the U.S. each year. It occurs between two people in a close relationship and includes: physical violence, sexual violence, psychological abuse, and stalking. Dating Violence - Dating violence is a pattern of assaultive and controlling behaviors that one person uses against another in order to gain or maintain power in the relationship. The abuser intentionally behaves in ways that cause fear, degradation and humiliation to control the other person. Forms of abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional and psychological. Dating violence is physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse from a romantic or sexual partner. It happens to women of all races and ethnicities, incomes, and education levels. It also happens across all age groups and in heterosexual and same-sex relationships. Teen dating violence (TDV) is a type of intimate partner violence. It occurs between two people in a close relationship. TDV includes four types of behavior: Physical violence is when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force. Dating Violence Prevention Healthy relationships consist of trust, honesty, respect, equality, and compromise. 1 Unfortunately, teen dating violence—the type of intimate partner violence that occurs between two young people who are, or who were once in, an intimate relationship—is a serious problem in the United States. Dating violence is abusive behavior including physical, emotional, financial, or sexual abuse in order to gain power and control over another person in a casual or serious relationship. Any person can experience dating violence or unhealthy relationships. It affects men, women, and children of all ages, races, ethnicities, religions ...

Men's Rights :: Advocating for the social and legal equality of men and boys since 2008

2008.03.19 17:17 Men's Rights :: Advocating for the social and legal equality of men and boys since 2008

At the most basic level, men's rights are the legal rights that are granted to men. However, any issue that pertains to men's relationship to society is also a topic suitable for this subreddit. Men's rights are influenced by the way men are perceived by others.
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2006.10.18 15:54 spez Reddit Science

This community is a place to share and discuss new scientific research. Read about the latest advances in astronomy, biology, medicine, physics, social science, and more. Find and submit new publications and popular science coverage of current research.
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2008.03.08 23:54 Psychology

A Reddit community for sharing and discussing science-based psychological material.
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2020.09.29 06:43 gammajayy I broke my dad's camera and he beat my ass and threatened to kill me.

I'm 20 and live in eastern washington, my dad is 54.
Background: I live with my dad, his girlfriend and their 2 kids (4yr old twins). I'm back at home (unfortunately) after moving out several times and having to come back for one reason or the other.
I have mental issues (severe depression and suicidal ideation) which have developed into some sort of paranoia centered around a camera my dad installed in the living room. I have no problem with cameras elsewhere but the camera on the inside is distressing and psychologically torturous. I'm working with a doctor and taking medication to try and ease the pain. I also have a history of manic behavior when things get rough. My dad is aware of all of this. He refused to take the camera down (no urgent need to have it, we live in a very safe area). I would go days without eating, on my off days I'd stay in my room literally all day without stepping outside.
Anyway, eventually I figured out if I waited until everyone went to bed, I can disable internet to the camera, go in the kitchen to get food, trash bags, toilet paper, etc. Then go back I my room and turn them back on. I was doing this for awhile and I was coping. Eventually my dad figured out I was doing this and went off on me, telling me he didn't believe me and the camera was doing anything to me etc (even though he was aware I was having to meet with a doctor because of it). So as that day went on, I became increasingly manic and started losing it. The actual events begin here:
I start screaming and run out of my room and outside. I run around the neighborhood for about half an hour squeezing a stress ball. I get back, (not only did he not come after me but he just locked the door behind me and left me in the cold, not illegal I don't think but very fucked up). Note: We have a doorbell cam that's capturing everything happening directly outside the front door. He eventually opens the door and I storm past him (didn't touch him at all) into the living room and destroy the camera. I'm yelling "F* THE F*ING CAMERA" and screaming like a maniac over and over again, clearly out of my mind. (the cam is worth $60 on amazon by the way) After im done, I start pacing back and forth frantically in the dining room.
A few seconds later my dad shows up and literally starts beating the shit out of me, knocks me on my back, starts punching me in the face and slamming the back of my head on the ground. Jamming his knee into my stomach trying to break my ribs, throwing me around etc. He said hes going to kill me. The initial contact started inside the house, but he quickly threw me outside and started beating me up on the front porch, where the camera could see. There's no way of definitively proving who exactly hit who first, but based on the video from the doorbell cam he is CLEARLY the aggressor, hes standing over me punching me over and over again and I'm just laying there trying to protect myself. Eventually he turns around and goes back inside. I destroy the screen door and talk to some neighbors and the cops arrive a few minutes later. I talk to one cop about what happened and the other cop goes inside and talks to my dad. They both watch the video. After chatting amongst themselves they tell me that because it was domestic violence, someone must be arrested. And basically because I was the one who destroyed property first, im more in the wrong. (destroying $60 worth of property > seriously assaulting someone I guess.) So they said I get arrested for now but the judge will look at the entire case when the time comes. I recorded the audio of this entire thing on my phone by the way, you can hear him saying he's going to kill me as well as me destroying the camera, everything clear as day.
So my dad gets to relax at home and I go to jail. Fine. That was around 9pm Saturday night, the judge looked at the case and because it was my first time being arrested (this is my first run in with the law ever) she released me. I got out at 530am Monday (today) morning. I was supposed to work Sunday morning and I was in jail all day so now I'm jobless, and also homeless (obviously). So I get out of jail and I'm looking for jobs and food and whatnot trying to get my bearings together. I'm not allowed to contact my dad or go near the property at all. I ask his girlfriend to bring me my medication and I find out my dad is about to throw away all my shit, literally everything I own. I can't go pick it up right now for one reason or the other. I was just planning on getting my police escort to take me there and pack up my stuff and move it to wherever I find housing. All within a week (my court documents say I have to do everything within a reasonable timeframe, surely a week is reasonable right?)
So anyway that's where I'm at right now. My charges are ASSAULT-4D (DOMESTIC VIOLENCE) and MAL MISCHIEF-3D DOM VIOL.
Im working with mental health professionals right now to work through my suicidal problems but also the crazy homicidal thoughts I have toward my dad right now. I can't go 30 minutes without fantasizing going over there and shooting him.
So basically my questions are:
1a. On my court date, do I have a shot of getting the charges dismissed or am I going to be found guilty? 1b. If I'm found guilty, will I go to prison? 2a. If get out of it, can I press charges against my dad and get him to pay me/go to prison? Or do I not have a reasonable case. 2b. What would that process look like. 3. What can I do about him throwing away all my shit.
Sorry if there's mistakes, I'm homeless and very distraught and I really don't know what to do. I've never had to deal with this kind of thing before. If this court date doesn't go my way sadly I think my story will come to an end. I hope not but that's how it's looking. On top of the financial issues I already have, a criminal record certainly doesn't help, being clean was pretty much the only thing I had going for me.
Going to try and get some rest after a very hectic weekend, I'll look at this in the morning. Thank you in advance to anyone willing to help.
submitted by gammajayy to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 06:24 pat_labor_of_love TLDR ~ Too long? Don't read!

Reading anyway? Don't jump all over me harshly after you do. I'm easily triggered. I have C-PTSD from the domestic violence of my 15-year abusive marriage, which ended 5+years ago and left me with gigantic trust and boundary issues, as well as pain. I've tried dating since then, but I've only met one man who I can really stand. I fell in love with him.
It's taking me two+ years to let down my guard enough to trust a man and let him be good to me. He's not perfect (no one is), but he's good and I want him. I'm struggling with what to let go of and what to fight for in my relationship.
My man doesn't respond to 1/4 of the questions or comments I make to him in messages. It hasn't changed even though I've complained about it. We usually don't see each other more than once or twice a week, so we message every day. It annoys me when he doesn't respond to something I wrote, because I like a lot of attention from my man. I'm used to getting a lot of attention from men, but I realize that at my age (54), I have to adjust my expectations. Sometimes he doesn't respond to things I say in person either. He just doesn't respond to someone if he doesn't want to, for whatever reason, and that's how he is. I feel like I should just accept this as a quirk about him, and not take it personally, just as surely I have undesirable qualities that I want him to overlook. Relationships are give and take, and it's not always roses and lollipops. I don't want to fight insignificant battles.
I often message him first, which seems the wrong move to make, but I don't take it to mean that I care more than he does about us / the relationship. I'm sure he loves / cares about me / the relationship even when we're apart. I think rather than messaging me all day he prefers to focus on me mainly when we're together, and focus on other things when we're apart. I want to be with him more often, but I'm a busy mother of three and he has a full-time job and a life/kids of his own. We like our separate lives and we like each other but we don't want to merge our already full and complicated lives.
Our relationship has been very passionate, emotionally and sexually—almost volatile. We need breaks in-between being together to chill out, even though we miss each other when we're apart. It's been almost two years, off and on. We just got back together after a 3-month separation, probably the longest we've had in the two years since we met. He said we need to take it slowly and I agree. We both know from experience what problems can arise from rushing into relationships. I don't want to bicker over small things. I've decided that I'll compromise, concede where necessary, and work with him on our relationship, rather than stay separated from him permanently and look for someone else. This is no small thing for me as one who doesn't like to compromise or give up easily. A permanent ending was a real possibility up until about a week ago.
Please don't tell me I need to be alone, focus on myself, love myself, and not settle for anything less than what I want/deserve. I know what I want and deserve right now and it's him. I want to make it work with him. That doesn't mean I want to settle for less than I deserve. Problem is, I've never been a good negotiator. And he knows how to stand his ground. My struggle is with what to let go of, what to fight for, and how to negotiate the best relationship deal with this man without walking away entirely.
submitted by pat_labor_of_love to FemaleDatingStrategy [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 05:52 caffeineanddirt “Daddy issues”

Is that what this is? Idk trigger warning for my messy thoughts: domestic violence, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual stuff, bdsm mention and my poor self image/self harm.
Without going into too much detail on the abuse I wrote this: So I grew up in a household with domestic abuse, was physically and emotionally abused. Culprit being my father, I started to escape through music a lot and ended up idolizing certian artists and crushing on them, I wanted to tell a specific artist about how it got me through being in an abusive household and how I’m working on my own music and art... that is if I don’t turn into a fangirl made of jello.
While I wasn’t sexually abused only emotionally/physically I started thinking maybe a guy would be ok with hurting me during sex just so I could feel or get out certian emotions? I don’t think anyone would love me enough to do something that’s ultimately bad for me just because I want it. Like self harm almost, I would want it to be someone who doesn’t want to hurt me, just does it for my sake but it’s weird right? I want to be protected and then hurt but only just a bit, just enough to scare me but not actually hurt me anymore than my own self harm would because I’ve been truly hurt by a partner before, I don’t want that.
I also used to have an eating disorder and it’s kinda coming back as I quit alcohol and start thinking about this kind of stuff, it’s like I just need to be smaller and stuff for my partner. I used to get called worthless, annoying, stupid and ugly constantly and now I feel like I’m just not loveable.
I just feel really just like I’m a stupid person for having these thoughts and feelings. Like I’m just messed up or super childish. I’m honestly embarrassed. I just want to know if that’s normal, or at least normal in terms of PTSD.. I don’t want to speak to a therapist, I just think I’d be judged.
I’m lonely, never had a boyfriend and if I did try to date after getting small enough and liking the way I look enough why do I want to ask them to hurt me when I know what the abuse is like and it’s horrible and I don’t ever want to go through it. I’m also just mad at myself for being so socially awkward and then eating too much today.
submitted by caffeineanddirt to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 05:46 FaithInStrangers94 I desperately need help managing an EXTREMELY unhealthy fetish...

Alright guys I have perhaps the strangest fetish in the book... trip out on this: a “feedism” fetish for girls deliberately gaining weight, looking bloated, force feeding and overeating/drinking, vore, looking pregnant.
It runs very deep - I remember the first time I felt some sort of arousal was seeing my elementary school teacher gain weight throughout the year. And I remember looking up kink content online when I was only 11 years old.
I’m 25 now and it’s fair to say it’s basically ruined my sexual relationships and my life to some degree.
I’m attracted to nice smiles, skin, boobs etc like most people but only truly aroused by girls who have a pregnant look with belly fat but thinner arms/legs.
It’s basically a look that no sane girl wants to have, one that society condemns (despite glorifying big asses which are basically just fat as well). The one time I admitted this to a girl i was intimate with (because she was telling me about her kinks) she freaked out. Fair enough.
There’s no winning with this...
Even if I find a cute girl who has a weight gain kink and a belly whilst I would find it sexy as hell, I would feel horribly guilty for encouraging someone I love to be unhealthy. Especially since I’m a guy who values fitness and dislikes laziness.
If I just find a girl who has a belly (which is rare) and forget about all the weight gain stuff that’s a more realistic option... but I’d still be encouraging unhealthy habits and if she were to lose the weight i would most likely lost a lot of my attraction. That whole situation could really mess her up.
If I try to ignore it completely and just go for regularly attractive girls with nice personalities ( which has been my approach so far) I’m just not very aroused. I can certainly find a thin or fit girl cute but I don’t feel the same amount of arousal. Then I feel like they deserve to be with someone who finds them sexier.
And then I feel bad for trying to suppress my kink when there are people out there who have embraced it.
I’d honestly rather have a blood or violence fetish or something... the one I’ve got is just absurd on so many levels and impossible to indulge in.
It’s caused me to pass up so many opportunities with nice girls because they were in “too good” shape which seems insane.
When I match with girls on dating apps I’m the only guy on the planet literally hoping that they’re chubbier than their photos. And in my experience they’re usually thinner! I couldn’t believe that as a 6’4 bodybuilder chubby girls almost never seem to swipe/match with me, it’s mainly fitness freak/gym girls who I’m not into at all.
Meanwhile my friends seem to attract chubby girls and complain about it since they prefer thin girls.... it’s like the universe is playing a big fucking joke on me.?
It’s the definition of an unhealthy fetish.
I’ve had some online “relationships” with girls within the “feedism” community - usually living on the other side of the world but nearly everyone I’ve chatted to says they feel the same sense of self disgust and they often leave then return again and again.
But all this online stuff just continues the cycle. And it’s hard to quit when you find it more arousing than real life non fetish sex.
So I really don’t know what to do.
I never wanted to admit it to anyone in real life but perhaps a sex therapist could help - even if they’ve never encountered this fetish before.
Its ruining my life so I need to do something.
If anyone has had any success of advice for how to battle a fetish please let me know.
———————
TL;DR
I’m only really aroused by girls overeating, gaining weight and looking pregnant. It’s proven to be completely unrealistic for me to indulge in and makes me feel like shit. Any advice on how to manage a fetish would be fantastic.
submitted by FaithInStrangers94 to sex [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 05:10 Redjay12 I feel like everyone else has recovered from their trauma and I never will

Because of an abusive relationship when I was 15, I get very intense performance anxiety, which has become so severe, that dating doesn’t even seem worth it. one of my exes once insulted me by calling me “basically asexual” (nothing wrong with being so, but I am not). My other ex described me as “composed of 75 percent sexual dysfunction.”
why is everyone else doing so well? I’ve done emdr, that alleviated some symptoms, but I still can’t date. all my other friends that have ptsd have been in healthy relationships after their assault, and many of them did this without therapy. and a lot of them are also having casual sex with many different people, while I’m too terrified to date at all.
and it does not help that I am dating other men, and gay men are “supposed to” be super promiscuous, and I have friends that tell me every week about the new person they fucked. One of my friends in particular is much younger than me, and so it stings even more, that I’m “behind” him.
what am I supposed to do? what’s wrong with me? it’s been TEN YEARS since this relationship and I’m still a wreck.
I feel very lonely and want someone to hold me but I’m too scared to let that happen.
(to elaborate on what happened with this ex, he essentially did BDSM, but non consensual. violence during sex that I didn’t even know was taken from BDSM until I was older and learned what it was. If I was boring him, I would be hurt, and he choked me until I thought I would die on multiple occasions. I grew up in abusive households (foster care) and when with him, I hated myself completely and my entire self worth was based on how he saw me. so now in addition to the fear of physical harm, I feel very vulnerable and need reassurance that I’m “good”).
submitted by Redjay12 to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 04:41 Monty_Wild My journey from agnosticism to antitheism

I consider myself fortunate to have been raised in an agnostic household. Every existential question I had was answered with as honest a response as the answerer was capable given their knowledge, or an honest expression of ignorance... but never was any deity mentioned unless I brought it up first, and then the response was typically one of ignorance... "Is there a god?" "I don't know." "Why don't we go to church?" "It's not what we do."
When I went to school, at the state school on the opposite corner of the intersection from our house, I was one of a minority of kids who got to go outside and play games while most of the class had RI: Religious Instruction. When I asked my parents why I didn't go to RI, Dad answered that it was because it costs money. Money, not God, seemed to be what he worshipped. Occasionally the non-RI kids were included in the RI class... and it all seemed nonsensical to me on those occasions.
My first experience of the harm that religion causes occurred on the beach near our house one summer a year or so after I started school. I met a boy my own age, and we started playing in the sand, and somehow the conversation came around to religion, probably when I mentioned something about the sky, and the boy replied with all sincerity that "Nothing can reach the sky, because that's where God is, and nothing can reach God."
This was plainly nonsense, as I couldn't see God up there anywhere, and I said as much.
"God is invisible," was his answer.
"How do you know that he's there, then?" I asked.
"Because the Bible says so," he replied.
It seemed to me even at that age that the Bible may be wrong, so I asked how he knew that the Bible was right.
"Because my parents say it is."
"What if they're wrong?"
"They can't be wrong!"
At that moment, a plane flew over.
"That plane is in the sky," I pointed at it, getting back to his misconception.
"No it's not! It's below the sky!"
The problem appeared to be one of differing definitions, then.
"Is the moon in the sky?" I asked him.
"Yes," was his answer.
"Then you're wrong," I concluded. This was the 1970s, well after the first moon landing. "Because astronauts have gone to the moon in a rocket, so if a rocket can reach the moon, then a rocket can reach the sky."
"They're lying! Nothing can reach the sky, so a rocket can't have gone to the moon!"
"I've seen photos of the earth taken from the moon."
At this point, the boy ran back to his parents... It seems that I had upset him, and having Aspergers (not that I was diagnosed until I was an adult), I hadn't noticed that he had been getting upset, save in hindsight.
When I asked my mother why the boy had been so certain that nothing could reach the sky, she replied that he had been taught the wrong things. This led to a line of conversation where I asked if teachers were supposed to teach the right things - they were, but his parents had taught him that - and since it seemed wrong to me that kids could be taught the wrong things, I asked why it wasn't against the law to teach kids the wrong things. The answer that a lot of other people believed those wrong things too shocked me deeply... why couldn't they tell that they were wrong?
I had relatives who were religious, on Dad's side of the family, but they were what I consider to be good Christians... they didn't go about talking about God this and Church that, or how we should go to church, or how the church says that certain people or things are wrong... they just went to church, and we didn't, and nothing was said about it.
My maternal grandmother had told me that "We are protestants", but that was about as religious as she got. She never went to church, and I'd describe her as being more spiritualist than religious... she taught me to keep an open mind, but to question everything. God seemed to be out, since there was no evidence that he existed... but psychic powers were in, since you could demonstrate that they worked. My grandmother showed me how to evaporate clouds, and showed that she could get my uncle who lived in another state to call her on the phone within about ten minutes, just by thinking at him... and when he called, he'd open the conversation with "What do you want, Mum?" having had the feeling that she wanted to talk to him.
I have also experimented with dowsing, and the results that I've had suggest that it isn't complete bunkum... but it isn't easy or completely reliable, so I rarely do that. I also experimented with prayer... and my conclusion was that it is completely ineffective, that if there was a god that was as omnipotent and omniscient as Christians describe, and as eager to receive prayers, then he wasn't listening to mine... if God existed and wanted my prayers, he ought to at least be able to get a bird to tweet or some other noise-making event to occur on cue outside my window... but no, the birds and neighbors were all silent most of the time, no more likely to make a sound while I was praying for them to do so than when I wasn't.
As a kid, I was never interested in history... my teachers at school succeeded brilliantly at making it incredibly boring. It took tabletop roleplaying games to pique my interest in history... and I could learn about all the interesting bits, and leave all the boring bits. Interesting bits like all the wars and the crusades, which basically seemed to be Christians beating up on people who disagreed with them on matters of religion... as if they were any more correct than anyone else, and as if violence was going to do anything other than make others hate them, or pretend to believe in order to make the persecution stop.
Religion seemed to be an inescapable part of many of the roleplaying games I played... but there was one fundamental difference between them and reality: Deities in RPGs mostly have a verifiable existence, with tangible benefits for worshiping them... very tangible in some cases... yet even those religions seemed to be some sort of pyramid scheme. The deity at the top gains the most benefit. The common worshippers seem to get very little, except through the clerics, who get rarer as they get more powerful... but at least there is something there. Not so with real-world religions as far as I can see.
So... growing up and as an adult, all I see when I see religious people are people who are deluded as to the true nature of reality, or changed by their beliefs, and not in a good way. When I met the woman who became my wife, she was also an atheist, as is her father, but her mother is a convert to Christianity. For all that my mother in law claims that Christians are good, tolerant people, their behavior suggests otherwise... very strongly. My wife has told me stories about the time after her mother became a Christian... the drinking stopped, but her mother burned many of my wife's books because she no longer approved of them, and tried to browbeat my wife into becoming a Christian too. My mother in law will no longer watch many movies, because they have magic in them.
After my daughter was born, my mother in law took her to church a few times, because my wife wants to be open-minded - she believes that people should learn about all religions as well as the atheist point of view. However, each time our daughter returned from church, she was... different... and not in a good way: she was less tolerant and more certain that the Christian point of view was correct and that we were wrong, and after her last trip to church she was so certain that we were wrong in our beliefs that she became violent, so at that point, both my wife and I agreed that church was forbidden, my daughter could visit and stay with her grandmother, but she was not to be taken to church under any circumstances. Since my twin sons were born, they've never been to church. When they ask about God, I always try to qualify my answers that God doesn't exist with an assertion that that is what I believe, and others believe that he does... but they should try to work out for themselves if he exists or not, just try praying and see if it works.
One of the things that I tell my kids is that my beliefs are not fixed. I do have faith: that the scientists have got things right, since I don't always understand or have time to analyze their findings myself, but should proper, verifiable evidence come along that what I believe is wrong, I hope that I am honest enough and flexible enough to change what I believe accordingly.
So, I've eventually come to the belief that real-world religion is bad, that while there can be good religious people, it makes me sad that they are so deluded that they can't see how wrong they are, that they're relying upon a mental crutch that if they could only throw it away, their thoughts need no longer figuratively limp along, but could run free.
There is a saying with a certain amount of truth, that children under the age of around 13 or 14 are mentally impressionable, and to consistently expose them to religion up to that age is how they become indoctrinated. Since religion causes so much harm, I must conclude that to indoctrinate a child is child abuse, but unfortunately it is abuse that cannot reasonably be prevented. In an idle moment, I thought that kids under 14 could be tested for religious knowledge, and if they did not fail the test, they could be removed from their abusive home environment (an overreaction on my part, perhaps), but where could they go? There would be so many of them. At least their parents could be fined - a lot - for each child born after the date of the introduction of the law who passes the religious knowledge test, but I can see that not working too... religious people would rally to provide financial support to those wanting to infect their kids with their particular delusion so they wouldn't be financially disadvantaged. Jailing the parents would be as bad as removing the kids.
So while all those authoritarian measures would be satisfying, I can't see that they would be all that effective. Realistically, the solution would have to come through the separation of church and state that many nations now practise. Education is (or should be) a matter for the state, and therefore religious organisations should not be permitted to operate schools. Each child should have a right to a secular education. While we unfortunately can't reasonably expect religious parents to not indoctrinate their kids, there should be a way to give those kids reason to think about what they believe. To that end, I believe that kids should have to be taught in school about all religions, and where they agree and disagree with each other, and where they appear to disagree with the scientifically discovered nature of reality.
submitted by Monty_Wild to Antitheism [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 04:18 bigolpancake Regarding Colin's Recent Tweet Welcoming Trump Supporters so Long as they Aren't "Extremists"...

Colin recently declared in a tweet that “CLS is for everyone, so long as you're not an extremist or asshole.” I’m genuinely curious—what more does Trump have to do before he and his supporters may be accurately characterized as extremist, or in Colin's words “assholes”?
Please don’t attempt to start a fallacious semantic dispute by claiming Trump’s views aren’t “extremist” because they’ve garnered mainstream support in the U.S. If you extend that reasoning to its logical conclusion, one could likewise argue that Nazism in 1940s Germany wasn’t extremist. Trump and by extension his supporters are indeed extremists in the broader context of international norms and politics as well as in the broader historical context of the U.S. Lest we forget, it is well documented that:
And these are just instances of extremism I can recall off the top of my head. I could of course go further (e.g. recent evidence of tax avoidance, withdraw from WHO, needlessly provoking Iran and downplaying its airstrike on a U.S. military base, spreading misinformation about COVID-19 treatment, denying Russian election collusion despite evidence, numerous instances of inflaming racial tensions, etc., etc.), but I won’t for the sake of brevity and because I believe I’ve made my point.
I have a lot of respect for Colin, and I sincerely enjoy hearing his take on political issues. But in regards to Trump and Trump supporters, I think it's time we all quit pandering and call a spade a spade.
Thoughts?
submitted by bigolpancake to ColinsLastStand [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 03:57 itsfrankgrimesyo Finding out my sons best friend’s parent is an awful person

Not sure if I’ve got the right flair but anyway; during covid lockdown and now with the new school year has started, I’ve gotten to know my 7 year old son’s best friend’s parents (lots of play dates since we’re in the same bubble). The mom is absolutely lovely. She’s an amazing mother and just a good person overall and I like hanging out with her. Slowly we’ve started doing couple things and I’ve gotten to know her husband, who after numerous interactions I’ve come to realize he is an absolute misogynist, racist, homophobic, controlling jerk. He puts her down and disrespects her in front of us and in confidence, she has told me he’s cheated on her and when she confronted him he threatened to stop giving her money (she’s a SAHM) so she found a part time job. She hates the way he treats her. I don’t like him at all but I realize it’s not my relationship or business so I don’t want to interfere (as far as I know there’s no violence) but unfortunately it has affected the way I feel about my son’s friendship with their kid. I know it’s not the kid’s fault but I’m sure he sees this at home every day how his dad treats his mom and I in turn, am hesitant to have my son spending so much time over there at their house being exposed to this. I don’t know, I’m torn.
submitted by itsfrankgrimesyo to Parenting [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 01:00 Mg11011 Need some advice here, please help!

Need some advice here
Warning, this is a long post. So if you make it all the way through I’d love your advice!
So story time here first. So at the end of high school my best girl friend and I made a promise to each other that if we were ever single and lived in the same town after college that we would see if we would work out as a couple after we turn 24. (Both 27 now). We would hookup when we would go out but we’re never a couple knowing that we didn’t want a long distance relationship. We both had feelings for each other at that point but our timing was horrible. My family loves her and her family loves me. And we have all of the same friends and so much in common, we would be the perfect couple.
Then we both go off to college and we always stayed close, always saw each other on holidays and we would visit each other. Then sophomore year she dates this guy for a year and a half which then ended halfway through our senior year. She then comes to my college town the next week to see friends and we end up sleeping together that night. Then she goes back to school and we see each other again during that Christmas break and it’s more of the same. She then decided a to go to grad school at another school after senior year and I moved back home (we are 22 at this point).
Then about 6 months later, she starts dating this guy. They date for about 6 months and then they get engaged. I think this goes without saying but my heart is broken at this point. She never introduces us and I meet the guy the week of their wedding. So being a friend first to her, all I want for her is for her to be happy, and it sure seemed like they were.
Over the first year and a half of their marriage they seem super happy which is awesome! The three of us hang out every now and then and I’m even friends with her husband, which is so hard to do because I still have feelings for her, but I’d rather fake this friendship so she can still be in my life. She’s the type of girl that makes every room she walks into brighter than it was before, she has that infectious smile that makes everyone around her smile, she’s just perfect!
For both her and me, family is everything. Like the number one deal breaker is if the person we are dating or married to doesn’t get along with our families, it would never work.
But my big issue is that every time we spend any time together my feelings come rushing back. So out of respect for her and her marriage, I have to limit myself to how much I can be around her, which kills me but it’s the right thing to do, right?
So this weekend, one of our mutual friends gets married and we see each other at the wedding and reception. We all had a great time and then we go to a local bar afterwards and are having a great time.
So I do need to tell you about myself at this point. I am someone who tends to put other people’s happiness above my own which is a good and a bad trait of mine. I also can read people like a book right away, I always know if there is something wrong, especially her.
So at the bar, she is off talking to her sister and I knew something was off. Her voice, her body language, her mood is just not who she is. So I let them talk and then go find her when they are done. And something is wrong.
So naturally I ask her if she’s ok. With tears in her eyes, she says it’s fine. (Saw right through that) then I look her in the eyes and said “you know you can talk to me about anything right?” And I had no idea that we were going to get into it like we did.
She starts telling me that her and her husband aren’t talking anymore and that everyone knows a different version of her husband than what he is. That he tries to be outgoing and puts on a front in public, but that’s not him at home. All he cares about is hunting and playing video games, both of which she doesn’t have any interest in.
Now in her family they have one night a week that they have a “family dinner” at her parent’s house, which I’ve gone to many times in years past. It’s filled with stories, jokes, and everything you can imagine. Just great people all enjoying each other’s company.
She tells me that even at family dinner, he just sits there and makes no effort to talk to anyone and is very short with them. She said it has gotten to the point that her whole family is worried about them and have all expressed this to her.
Now hearing all of this from her kills me... she deserves the world.
Then she says something that I never thought she’d say, “if this is what marriage is like, no one should ever get married”... then I reach my hand out and hold hers and just listen... I am at a loss of words.
Here is the woman I’ve been in love with for 9 years telling me this. Like all I care is that this girl is happy. And to find out she’s not? That kills me inside.
At this point the bars close and we all have to leave. We decide to go back to their house for after hours drinks. The uber gets to the bar and it’s not bug enough for all of us so her and I stay behind and continue talking while everyone else went to her house. She continues to go on about their marriage and how it’s not how it looks from the outside. (No domestic violence or anything like that) she says that she has been talking to her therapist about this for months now and she doesn’t know what to do. Her and I stay at the bar for a half hour talking after everyone left. She even shows me some of their texts where he says “I’m not happy with you right now” and weird things like that.
Both of our phones are blowing up with everyone asking where we are so we head to her house. As we are walking in I say, “let’s enjoy tonight with our friends and family and continue this another day”. We both agree and go inside.
While we were there, I see it for the first time. Her, typically outgoing and fun, husband is closed off, not talking to anyone including her. He’s rude to all of our friends and just different than I’ve ever seen. She even points it out to me. Everyone in the room feels the vibe and wants to get out of there. She even says that he should go to bed so we can have fun, which he then does. So everyone leaves except me because I ordered my uber late on purpose. She tells me to cancel the uber because she misses me. So we stayed up for another hour, just the two of us, talking and having fun like we used to. Then we both are getting tired and she lays on me on the couch like we used to all the time, all cuddled up and taking softly to each other. She asks me to stay with her on her couch, and I told her I can’t and that it wouldn’t be right and things just aren’t the same because she’s married.
So I ordered my uber and said goodnight. As I’m leaving I notice she isn’t going to bed. She says she going to sleep on the couch which she has been doing lately...
She says to call her when I’m home. So I did and we stayed up for another hour just talking about old memories and dates that we went on. It was perfect, we laughed and had a great time. Now this is the first time we have really been like that since she started dating him (3 years), it was like the old times.
We then both said it’s time to go to bed and that we need to continue our conversation about her marriage later, so we made plans for lunch this week.
Now I’m torn inside. Part of my wants to cry knowing that she’s not happy, but (and I struggle with this) part of me is jumping up and down inside knowing that if their marriage were to end, we would be a couple within 6 months. And would live happily ever after! I don’t know if I want her to fix her marriage, if it even can be fixed, or if I just want it to end so we can be together.
I don’t know what to do. Do I encourage her to work on their marriage (which she is but he isn’t)? Do I tell her that her happiness is all that matters and she should give it some time and then see what happens? Do I tell her I don’t know if I can help with this because of our past? I really need some help here. I’m 27 and I’m worried if I continue to wait around I’ll never find my own happiness, but I don’t see myself ever being as happy as I am with her.
So if you made it through my story, please give me your advise! Thank you so much!
submitted by Mg11011 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 22:04 foof2134 Harrassment in Wisconsin

So about 4 weeks ago now I made a report to corporate about racism and harassment that's been taking place at all levels of management and the facility that I work at. Examples include the use of the N word not only to make jokes but out of anger as well. Threats of violence against numerous employees. Etc I have some evidence via text messages between my supervisor and myself and 3 witnesses that backed me up. So a week goes by nothing happens the following week 2 of the witnesses get called to the office to make their report official then the co worker and the shift supervisor get called to the office to get their side. This is when all hell broke loose. The supervisor ended up thinking it was another employee that reported them not me so he starts trying to cover it up and asking me a bunch of questions to find out what I know and telling me how when he finds out for sure who did it they wont get anymore training of any kind and that hes going to make their lives hell until they quit so on and so forth the other employee that got reported started in on how hes going to find out who reported them and hes going to "throttle the life out of them" and break their legs so they cant run to management again. So I reported all this back to corporate.
Corporates response was to give both the supervisor and the employee 2 days off paid and possibly a write up. They cant tell me what all went on this is just what the supervisor told everyone.
So the next week goes by they get their 2 days off all is said and done until last friday when I got injured lifting something too heavy too high and not really knowing what I was doing as this company does absolutely no formal training of any kind. When I get back from the hospital I'm put on restrictions for a week and actually end up back in the er that night I some how ended up hurting the lining around my lungs and it was incredibly painful not far off from the pain of a kidney stone. When I went to the office to tell them I was going back to the er per the instructions from the first doctor my supervisor and plant manager were talking with the door closed but I could hear them clearly say how they plan to come up with a reason to fire the person that made the report to corporate and how I wasn't really injured. Note that I was in the hospital 3 times in 4 days before they got the pain under control.
I am just wondering if there's anything I can do legally weather it be a civil suit or another way to report it not sure if they eeoc is a place to start or not. My main concern is that since this started I've had to constantly look over my sholder. It's to the point where I'm worried about being poisoned (we make rat poison and have access to many different kinds) or "accidentally" hit by a forklift all things I've reported to hr with nothing done at all. By this point they do know it was me who made the report.
Its important to note this company has a very long track record for this type of behavior dating back at least to the 90s if you look them up on indeed.com or glass door they have awful reviews I'm hoping there's something to be done I've put up with this crap for 2+ years and like the job just not the hostile environment.
submitted by foof2134 to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 21:34 diarrheaisnice Struggling through a rough break up and managing my mental illness and eating disorder on my own.

TW- trauma
I have PTSD due to severe childhood trauma and surviving three years of domestic violence.
My partner and I broke up months before our lease ended and decided to remain friends. We had lived together for two years. He has family and I do not. He said he would be there for me and help me but instead he’s ghosted me and is immediately on dating apps.
I have severe mental health issues that I’m desperately trying to get under control but I’m on the verge of having to find a new home for my pets and admitting myself to the hospital.
I have very few people. I lost my only parent at 17. I have a couple friends but most of them live far away.
Idk what I need.
submitted by diarrheaisnice to MutualSupport [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 21:00 TheDeadRatSociety Weekly BL Recommendation #12: Bronze--Zetsuai 1989 [OVAs]

Weekly BL Recommendation #12: Bronze--Zetsuai 1989 [OVAs]
Hello Lovers~
It's been a few, but here's your weekly BL recommendation. All the info you need to get started watching is right here!
Zetsuai Cover Art
Anime Name: ZETSUAI (2 OVAs)
Author: Minami Ozaki
  • Release date: Zetsuai, 1992; Zetsuai Bronze, 1994; Bronze Zetsuai Since 1989, 1994
  • Length: 3 OVAs, 45min each
  • Genre: Romance, Drama, Yaoi
  • Language: eng sub
*BL Level: 4 (warning for disturbing mental issues)
Plot Summary:
The OVAs of Zetsuai focus on the dangerous and twisted relationship that develops between famous singer, Koji Nanjo, and star soccer player, Takuto Izumi. The two meet by chance when Izumi cares for the drunken Koji. What happens next is nothing less than fate, as Izumi is both stunned and staggered when he realizes that the person he fell in love with 6 years ago turns out to be this exact Izumi. Intoxicated with the discovery of the passion of his singing career, Koji’s life takes a dark turn as he wrestles with his desires for Izumi as he tries to reconcile with the fact that Izumi is a man. As for Izumi, he becomes embroiled in the crazy, desperate world of Koji’s character and devotion. What follows is a disturbing, dark, twisted relationship that explores the damning and sensuous effects of a parasitic and all-consuming emotional and physical connection.
**Where to watch: watch order: Zetsuai 1989 then Bronze: Zetsuai 1989
https://www12.9anime.ru/watch/zetsuai-1989.63v4/ep-full
Juicy Gossip:
  • Yes, their chins are pointy, we know. Actually, the art style is very distinct and evocative, and it works well with the darker themes and struggles of the charcters.
  • Zetsuai is a classic BL, and one of the groundbreaking in the BL genre. It stands as a testament to the darker, more emotional, and troubled character of early BL, and what kinds of themes really make the BL genre.
  • When I say it gets dark, I mean it really gets dark. There’s mental trauma from childhood violence, sexual harassment, and intense corrupted longing and desire. This is serious, and there are serious consequences, both mental and physical, to the characters and their lives.
  • This is Zetsuai.

Happy reading, as usual lovers--ya'll are the best!
~Grand Overseer

(*the BL Level is the level of intimacy in the show or manga. It will be on a scale of 0-5, where '0' is no romantic development and '5' is seriously sexy.)
(**make sure to have an adblock browser extension and system security on when accessing these sites, as they may contain pop-up ads or malware. Also, personally I suggest using private mode.)
submitted by TheDeadRatSociety to BL_Love [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 16:48 Sonosaki [H] HB keys leftovers [W] Paypal

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Hero of the Kingdom III x2
Heroes of the Monkey Tavern
Hive Jump x2
HIVESWAP Act 1
Hob
Homebrew - Patent Unknown x2
HoPiKo x2
Hotel Dracula
Hungry Flame
Huntsman: The Orphanage
I am not a Monster
Iconoclasts
ICY: Frostbite Edition
Immortal Redneck x2
In Fear I Trust 1-4
Infinite Air with Mark McMorris
InnerSpace
Internet Cafe Simulator
Invisigun Heroes
Iron Fisticle
Jalopy
Jet Set Knights
Joggernaughts
Kick Ass Commandos
Kingdom Under Fire 2- Basic Edition
Layers of Fear
Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle
LEGO Batman 3 Beyond Gotham
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LEGO Marvel Super Heroes 2
LEGO Ninjago Movie Video Game
LEGO STAR WARS: The Force Awakens Delxue Edition
LEGO STAR WARS: The Force Awakens
LEGO Worlds
LEGRAND LEGACY: Tale of the Fatebounds
Leisure Suit Larry - Magna Cum Laude Uncut and Uncensored
Letter Quest Grimms Journey Remastered
Lifeless Planet Premier Edition
Lock's Quest
Loot Hero DX
Luxor Evolved
Mainlining
Mars: War Logs
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Memoria
Mimpi
Mini Ninjas
Monochroma
Monstrum
Moon Hunters
Moon Tycoon
Morphies Law: Remorphed
Morphite
Moto Racer 4
Mr. Shifty
My Memory of Us
Mystery of Unicorn Castle The Beastmaster
Narcosis
Neon Chrome
Neon Prism
Never Alone Arctic Collection
Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
Next Hero
Next Up Hero x7
Nexus The Jupiter Incident
Ninja Shodown
No Time To Explain Remastered
observer
Odyssey - The Story of Science
Of Orcs and Men
Old Man's Journey
On Rusty Trails
One More Dungeon
Onikira Demon Killer x2
OPERATION FLASHPOINT RED RIVER
Orborun x3
Oriental Empires x2
Quantum Replica
Out of Reach
Overclocked: A History of Violence
OVERLORD
Override: Mech City Brawl - Super Charged Mega Edition
Overture
Pandemic Express Zombie Escape
Paranautical Activity Deluxe Atonement Edition
Party Hard 2 + DLC
Peregrin
PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist x2
Phantom Trigger
Pharaonic
Pony Island
POSTAL
Project Highrise
Project Remedium
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Redeemer: Enhanced Edition x2
Redout: Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Remothered: Tormented Fathers
Renoir
Renowned Explorers: International Society x2
Resort Boss: Golf
Reverse Crawl x2
Revhead
RiME
Rise of the Argonauts
Rise of Insanity
River City Ransom: Underground
Robothorium: Cyberpunk Dungeon Crawler
RollerCoaster Tycoon Classic x2
Rush for Glory
Rym 9000
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Sanitarium
Savage Lands
Scrap Garden x2
Seraph
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Shadwen
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun
Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments
Sherlock Holmes: The Devils Daughter
Shiny
Shiness: The Lightning Kingdom
SHOCK TROOPERS x2
Sid Meiers Civilization V x2
Sid Meier's Civilization®: Beyond Earth™ x4
SimCity4 Deluxe Editon x3
Sine Mora EX
Sir, You Are Being Hunted
Siralim 3 x2
Skullgirls x3
Sky Break
SkyDrift
Skyhill: Black Mist
Slain Back from Hell x3
Slash It
Slash It 2
Silver Chains
Smoke and Sacrifice x2
Snow White Solitaire Charmed Kingdom
Snake Pass x2
Soulblight
SPACECOM
Spoiler Alert x2
Stable Orbit
StarDrive 2
STAR WARS Jedi Knight II Jedi Academy
STAR WARS Jedi Knight II Jedi Outcast x2
STASIS
Stealth Inc 2 x2
Stikbold! A Dodgeball Adventure
Steel Division: Normandy 44
Street Racing Syndicate
Styx Shards of Darkness
Styx: Master of Shadows
Subterrain
Super Cloudbuilt x3
Super Inefficient Golf
Super Life of Pixel
Supreme Ruler The Great War
Survive in Space
Sword Legacy Omen
Syberia 3+ DLC
Syberia 3
Syberia
Symmetry
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Table Manners: The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
TASTEE Lethal Tactics
Tesla vs Lovecraft
The Adventures of Fei Duanmu 端木斐异闻录
The Age of Decadence x2
The Black Death
The Cat Lady x2
The Crown of Leaves
The Deed: Dynasty
The Flame in the Flood
The Hex x2
The Invisible Hours
THE KING OF FIGHTERS 2002 UNLIMITED MATCH
THE LAST BLADE x2
The Last Federation
The Last Leviathan x3
The Little Acre
The Light Keep Us Safe
The Lion's Song: Season Pass
The Low Road x2
The Metronomicon
The Testament of Sherlock Holmes
The Spatials
The Surge
The Swindle
The Technomancer
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light x4
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
The Walking Dead: Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days
The Walking Dead: Season 2
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Vegetables
The Watchmaker x2
Thief: Deadly Shadows
This War of Mine + Season Pass
Through the Woods
Toki x2
Tomb Raider(2013) x2
Tomb Raider GOTY (2013) x3
Tower 57
Tracks - The Train Set Game x2
Train Valley
Tropico 3 Gold Edition
Tropico 4 Steam Special Edition x2
Tropico Trilogy
Turmoil x2
TWINKLE STAR SPRITES x3
Unbox Newbies Adventure
Unbox: Newbie's Adventure
Unexplored
UNLOVED
Use Your Words
V Rally
Valhalla Hills
Valnir Rok Survival RPG
Vanguard Princess with all DLCs
Vertical Drop Heroes HD x2
Void Invaders
War Tech Fighters
Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach x2
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
We Are The Dwarves
White Night
White Noise 2
Whos Your Daddy x2
Wick x2
Winged Sakura: Mindy's Arc
Wings of Vi x2
Wooden Floor 2 Resurrection
World's Dawn
XBlaze Lost: Memories
Yesterday Origins
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Zenith
Ziggurat
Zombie Kill of the Week Reborn x2
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Mindball Play
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MotoGP 15
Mr. Shifty x3
MXGP-The Official Motocross Videogame
Must Dash Amigos
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NBA 2k20 (region locked NA)
NBA Playgrounds
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Stealth Inc 2: A Game of Clones
Stikbold! A Dodgeball Adventure
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Beholder 2
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HIVESWAP Act 1
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HoPiKo x2
Hotel Dracula
Hungry Flame
Huntsman: The Orphanage
I am not a Monster
Iconoclasts
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In Fear I Trust 1-4
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Mr. Shifty
My Memory of Us
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Narcosis
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Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
Next Hero
Next Up Hero x7
Nexus The Jupiter Incident
Ninja Shodown
No Time To Explain Remastered
observer
Odyssey - The Story of Science
Of Orcs and Men
Old Man's Journey
On Rusty Trails
One More Dungeon
Onikira Demon Killer x2
OPERATION FLASHPOINT RED RIVER
Orborun x3
Oriental Empires x2
Quantum Replica
Out of Reach
Overclocked: A History of Violence
OVERLORD
Override: Mech City Brawl - Super Charged Mega Edition
Overture
Pandemic Express Zombie Escape
Paranautical Activity Deluxe Atonement Edition
Party Hard 2 + DLC
Peregrin
PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist x2
Phantom Trigger
Pharaonic
Pony Island
POSTAL
Project Highrise
Project Remedium
Rain World
Redeemer: Enhanced Edition x2
Redout: Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Remothered: Tormented Fathers
Renoir
Renowned Explorers: International Society x2
Resort Boss: Golf
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Revhead
RiME
Rise of the Argonauts
Rise of Insanity
River City Ransom: Underground
Robothorium: Cyberpunk Dungeon Crawler
RollerCoaster Tycoon Classic x2
Rush for Glory
Rym 9000
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Sanitarium
Savage Lands
Scrap Garden x2
Seraph
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Shadwen
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun
Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments
Sherlock Holmes: The Devils Daughter
Shiny
Shiness: The Lightning Kingdom
SHOCK TROOPERS x2
Sid Meiers Civilization V x2
Sid Meier's Civilization®: Beyond Earth™ x4
SimCity4 Deluxe Editon x3
Sine Mora EX
Sir, You Are Being Hunted
Siralim 3 x2
Skullgirls x3
Sky Break
SkyDrift
Skyhill: Black Mist
Slain Back from Hell x3
Slash It
Slash It 2
Silver Chains
Smoke and Sacrifice x2
Snow White Solitaire Charmed Kingdom
Snake Pass x2
Soulblight
SPACECOM
Spoiler Alert x2
Stable Orbit
StarDrive 2
STAR WARS Jedi Knight II Jedi Academy
STAR WARS Jedi Knight II Jedi Outcast x2
STASIS
Stealth Inc 2 x2
Stikbold! A Dodgeball Adventure
Steel Division: Normandy 44
Street Racing Syndicate
Styx Shards of Darkness
Styx: Master of Shadows
Subterrain
Super Cloudbuilt x3
Super Inefficient Golf
Super Life of Pixel
Supreme Ruler The Great War
Survive in Space
Sword Legacy Omen
Syberia 3+ DLC
Syberia 3
Syberia
Symmetry
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Table Manners: The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
TASTEE Lethal Tactics
Tesla vs Lovecraft
The Adventures of Fei Duanmu 端木斐异闻录
The Age of Decadence x2
The Black Death
The Cat Lady x2
The Crown of Leaves
The Deed: Dynasty
The Flame in the Flood
The Hex x2
The Invisible Hours
THE KING OF FIGHTERS 2002 UNLIMITED MATCH
THE LAST BLADE x2
The Last Federation
The Last Leviathan x3
The Little Acre
The Light Keep Us Safe
The Lion's Song: Season Pass
The Low Road x2
The Metronomicon
The Testament of Sherlock Holmes
The Spatials
The Surge
The Swindle
The Technomancer
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light x4
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
The Walking Dead: Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days
The Walking Dead: Season 2
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Vegetables
The Watchmaker x2
Thief: Deadly Shadows
This War of Mine + Season Pass
Through the Woods
Toki x2
Tomb Raider(2013) x2
Tomb Raider GOTY (2013) x3
Tower 57
Tracks - The Train Set Game x2
Train Valley
Tropico 3 Gold Edition
Tropico 4 Steam Special Edition x2
Tropico Trilogy
Turmoil x2
TWINKLE STAR SPRITES x3
Unbox Newbies Adventure
Unbox: Newbie's Adventure
Unexplored
UNLOVED
Use Your Words
V Rally
Valhalla Hills
Valnir Rok Survival RPG
Vanguard Princess with all DLCs
Vertical Drop Heroes HD x2
Void Invaders
War Tech Fighters
Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach x2
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
We Are The Dwarves
White Night
White Noise 2
Whos Your Daddy x2
Wick x2
Winged Sakura: Mindy's Arc
Wings of Vi x2
Wooden Floor 2 Resurrection
World's Dawn
XBlaze Lost: Memories
Yesterday Origins
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Zenith
Ziggurat
Zombie Kill of the Week Reborn x2
submitted by Sonosaki to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 15:36 RobJHayes Self Published Fantasy Releases – October 2020

Self Published Fantasy Releases – October 2020

https://preview.redd.it/ibjej9m05wp51.jpg?width=3048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9bffa3163f4efe1b8417e335ca163c44a5cfeabc
You can find the original post, complete with all the shiny covers, on my website here...
If you would like to be kept up to date with the upcoming lists, please subscribe to my newsletter by clicking this link. I don’t send out letters too often, pretty much once a month when this list goes out… and occasionally if I release a book or something.
As always, this is not a comprehensive list, but only includes all the books I have heard about so far.
If you have a fantasy novel you are self publishing in October or beyond, let me know either in the comments, or by emailing me, and I shall add it to the page. There are but 3 requirements:
  1. It must be a self published fantasy novel.
  2. It must have a Goodreads page.
  3. It must have a cover.
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27th September – Lady Vago’s Malediction by A.K.M. Beach

In the blackened heart of a cursed forest, a banshee haunts her crumbling castle with lethal screams.
Lady Vago is trapped in this place. She cannot fulfill her purpose as a banshee: to warn her loved ones of their deaths and watch over them while they pass. To solve the mystery of her imprisonment, she must sift through the rubble and ruin that surrounds her. By communing with old paintings, broken furniture, and even the stones themselves, she rediscovers who she was in life.
Before she was Lady Vago, she was Rovena Stoddard, a sharp-witted horse merchant’s daughter that caught the eye of a charming baron. Lord Kalsten Vago’s life as a wandering knight was over, but it inspired visions of a better life for his most vulnerable subjects. Rovena was far less afraid of bold change than his staunch and loyal steward, who saw her presence as a threat to Lord Kalsten’s success. Love and shared dreams alone wouldn’t overcome the controversy of the couple’s hasty and unequal union, as well as the trials of governing a fledgling barony—Rovena knew that. What she failed to recognize was the deeper darkness taking root in Vago lands and hearts…
Every memory of what Rovena loved is a reminder of what she lost, but she cannot let grief halt her search. Devoted spectres of ash are begging their lady for an end to their torment, and she will not let their agony–or her own–go unanswered anymore.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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30th September – The Devil You Know ANTHOLOGY by Various Authors

These heroes might not be angels, but you know what they say…it’s always better to trust the devil you know…
Looking for a typical hero tale? Keep looking. These twelve tales explore the grittier side of what it means to make life’s hardest choices and let your reputation pay the price. From back-alleys and ancient cities to graveyards and castle walls, these trouble-makers are out for themselves…or are they?
Check it out on Goodreads.
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30th September – Mage Prince (The Mage Born Chronicles #3) by Kayleigh Nicol

Following the fall of the mistress mage and the untimely death of the old king, King Vanikolanestra and Mage Prince Jereshin work tirelessly to end the slavery of the mages of Zarapheth and restore magic to the realm. Old noble families are restored, the mage guild is revived and reparations are made against the old king’s crimes. All seems peaceful as Reshi seeks to set aside his crown in favor of Niko’s child and the upcoming heir ceremony.
But as ambassadors from foreign nations flock to the capital to witness the ceremony, latent foes begin to emerge. A band of rebel mages vow to wage war unless a monarch of magical blood sits on the Zaraphethan throne. A foreign delegation from a mysterious kingdom arrive with a hidden agenda of murder and magic. And ancient beings stir beneath the very stones, gaining strength from Laurana’s final bargain. Enemies within and without seek to set Niko and Reshi against each other as the rhythm of war threatens the kingdom once more.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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1st October – The Second Expedition (A Thousand Li #4) by Tao Wong

Even the great may fall.
Wu Ying’s idle winter, one filled with training and recovery, is throw awry when his Master and Elder Yang return, injured. The Three Seasons poison fills Master Cheng’s veins, slowly killing the powerful Elder. His only hope – a rare antidote. But the ingredients for such an antidote are scarce and located in the deepest wilds.
Together, Wu Ying and Elder Yang take it upon themselves to embark on a Second Expedition to acquire the necessary materials. It would be a dangerous journey through the State of Wei normally, but in the shadows, enemies await to finish the job. Wu Ying is once again pitched against dark forces as a Sect war looms.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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1st October - We Men of Ash and Shadow (The Vanguard Chronicles #1) by HL Tinsley

Amidst the gas lamp shadows former soldier-turned-mercenary John Vanguard hunts criminals at the behest of his corrupt employer, Captain Felix Sanquain. Shamed by his deserter past and seeking to make amends for his many misdeeds, a chance encounter with Tarryn Leersac – a skilled young would-be-assassin fallen from the graces of high society – leads Vanguard to become an unlikely mentor.
Charged with hunting down the killer of two guards left washed up on the banks of the canal, the further Vanguard delves into the underbelly of the city the more he finds himself entangled in a web of secrets and lies. A prominent aristocrat is missing. Crime lords, con men and harlots run amok and the city teeters on the brink of another revolution.
With his already precarious reputation hanging by a thread, Vanguard must piece together how and why the last war came to pass, find a way to earn redemption for his mistakes and come to terms with the past in a city where few survive, and even fewer can be trusted.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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1st October - Arcanist (Spellmonger #12) by Terry Mancour

A Belligerent Spring
Being the most powerful wizard in the world can be a challenge. After defending his fledgling realm against the undead lord Gaja Katar all winter long, Count Minalan of the Magelaw faces a new threat in the spring: the Nemovort Shakathet, favored of Korbal, leading the mighty hordes out of the Penumbra. This time Minalan faces a real strategist, who drives his armies with purpose and efficiency. This time, the road to war leads through Megelin Castle and the vulnerable lands to the south of Vanador. This time, old enemies become allies, and old friends become valuable assets. Just another month in the life of the Spellmonger.
War, however, is not what is preoccupying Minalan; the knowledge of the end of the world is. As he broods on existential issues and debates with various goddesses and Alka Alon about Calidore’s fate, he must overcome his own fears and anxieties and impose order on the situation before everything goes into the chamberpot. The solution? Hire an Arcanist, a specialist in the obscure and trivial, to organize and investigate the many matters Minalan has to manage and bring them to order.
A busy wizard needs good organization to get it all done, after all, so Minalan hires Heeth the Butler to dive into the details while he prepares to fight the darkness. That buys the Spellmonger time to hunt down spies, taunt the Count of Nion into invading the Magelaw, lend aid to the sister realm of the Wilderlaw, who face their own war against the darkness, indulge his wife’s desire for cheesemaking, make staffing decisions, ferret out a plot to betray him by one of his vassals, and occasionally lead a special forces squadron of high-powered warmagi into battle, which is convenient. He also gets help from a wisecracking bard with a talent for espionage, an ancient intelligence who is suddenly mobile, and an insistent cow goddess, but each new ally is fraught with problems of their own. An obsessive know-it-all with a rare talent for obscure trivia is the right man in the right job. Who knew that the Spellmonger just needed an . . . ARCANIST!
Check it out on Goodreads.
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3rd October – Children (The Ten Worlds #1) by Bjorn Larssen

Magni never wanted to be like his father, a murderous, absent, cheating alcoholic: Thor – the feared and beloved God of thunder. When Thor destroys everything and everyone his son knows and loves, Magni vows to stop the violence. His dream is to bring peace and prosperity to the Nine Worlds, then settle down with the man he loves. But is it possible to remain good in a place this bad? How do you escape cruelty in a universe built on it, or the shadow of your father when everyone calls you by his name?
Maya knows she’s a failure and a disappointment to her foster-parents. How could a child raised by Freya and Freyr – Goddess of love and God of sex – have no interest in the greatest of pleasures? Obviously, it couldn’t be the torture they subjected her to, or treating her as a tool that might someday be useful. Maya, her rage at their games more powerful than she knows, wants freedom to pursue her own destiny. But how do you forge your own life away from your God-parents when you’re nothing more than human?
Check it out on Goodreads.
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5th October – Plight of Madness (The Madness Wars #3) by Jesse Teller

The Drine legions achieve their greatest victory since launching the war, and Tienne seems out of heroes. Simon Bard has fled, the ancient Despelora is missing, and Peter Redfist’s men have scattered. Just when it looks like Rextur will win this war, rumor of an old legend surfaces. Tienne has protectors who should be long-dead. The Sons of Despelora have risen, and the Madness of Drine is not prepared.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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6th October – A Wizard’s Sacrifice (The Woern Saga #2) by A.M. Justice

Conquering Fate Takes Sacrifice.
Victoria of Ourtown believes two things: that the bright, wandering star in the heavens is an abandoned spacecraft which brought her ancestors to this world and that destiny and the will of gods are nonsense. Vic used to scoff at stories of wizards too, until she acquired their powers. Once a warrior, now a secret wizard, she just wants to live an ordinary life and find a way to atone for the mistakes she’s made.
Ashel of Narath knows that the wandering star is the god who created humanity, but this difference of opinion doesn’t stop him from loving Vic. All that keeps them apart is a thousand miles and a tragic loss.
Lornk Korng needs Vic and Ashel to execute his plans for conquest. The fact both want him dead is but a trifling snag in his schemes. A bigger problem are the world’s indigenous aliens and an ancient enemy whose victory could wipe out humankind.
As plots and counterplots clash across time, Vic and Ashel must choose their allies carefully, or risk losing not only each other but everything they know.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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6th October – Wintersteel (Cradle #8) by Will Wight

As the Uncrowned King tournament reaches its final rounds, tensions between the competing factions are higher than ever. The outcome may determine the power balance throughout the rest of the world.
Each Monarch schemes to seize any advantage they can…while far away, a Dreadgod stirs.
When the tournament ends, the Dreadgod will rise. Whether it will be driven back into the sea or allowed to rampage depends on the Monarchs.
And on which of them is left standing.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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9th October – Truth and Other Lies (The Nine World Chronicles #1) by Lyra Wolf

The Destroyer is coming to Asgard. All will fall. All will burn…
Loki thrives on danger, but when he’s struck by a painful vision of ash and death he knows his fun has run out. The Destroyer is real and isn’t taking prisoners.
Refusing to have his life obliterated by some stuffy prophecy, all Loki wants is to save Asgard. But the gods stand in his way. They don’t trust the “Trickster.”
To prove himself, he must return to the side of the man he wanted to forget. Odin, his blood brother and a first rate con.
When he meets a mortal woman, his plans hit a snag.
Sigyn is delightfully stubborn and quick with a blade. She also, inexplicably, possesses a divine element found only in a god.
As Loki falls for her, he never expects it to fulfill the prophecy threatening all their lives.
Forced to choose between betraying Odin and protecting the woman he loves, Loki must face all he never wanted.
…But the truth changes everything.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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9th October – Seer’s Light (Tales of Tuatha book 1) by Whitney McKinnon

A phantom rider in the night. A magic bracelet hidden below the earth. An alabaster throne in a fiery palace.
If you stumble upon a well-kept secret in the woods, you can bet that life is bound to become…well, otherworldly.
Sage Sallow is a quiet girl with a mission. Determined to solve her brother’s mysterious disappearance, Sage soon discovers more than she could have ever dreamed of in the off-limits woods behind Manorport Academy.
But when a seance goes awry one stormy Halloween night, dark forces arrive with an agenda of their own. And portals that were once closed are now open. It’s up to Sage and her magical new friends to find her brother— and to save more than just one world.
Magic? Easy. But when you’re the owner of a powerful torc with godlike powers, things can get a little complicated.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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10th October – A Ritual of Flesh (The Dead Sagas #2) by Lee C. Conley

As evil ravages the north and the dead walk, all eyes fall to Arn… The apprentice journeys south, home to the College, unaware of the dark events that transpired in the High Passes after his departure. His leg in ruins, and haunted by watching shadows, the College council in Arn awaits him, but he does not travel south alone.
Arnulf and his warriors must travel to Arn also, with tidings for the king of the risen dead and the terrible curse which has destroyed all that he knew. Arnulf seeks vengeance upon the College, but must choose wisely if he is to save his son.
Meanwhile in the west, Bjorn and his strange Wildman companion report back to High Lord Archeon at Oldstones with grim news of cannibal Stonemen encroaching from the Barrens, but is embroiled in news of war and invasion as Archeon requests his service once more.
In the capital sickness awaits them all, Nym has fled to the city and must now continue her struggle for survival on the plague ridden streets of Arn, keeping all who she cares for safe from the halls of Old Night.
The many threads of this Saga converge on the city of Arn, but amid plague, invasion and terror, a greater darkness is looming. Dark forces are seeking to unleash evil upon Arnar, honour and renown is all, and sword, axe and shield is all that stands between the living and the grasping hands of the dead.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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15th October – Gunmetal Gods by Zamil Akhtar

They took his daughter, so Micah comes to take their kingdom. Fifty thousand gun-toting paladins march behind him, all baptized in angel blood, thirsty to burn unbelievers.
Only the janissaries can stand against them. Their living legend, Kevah, once beheaded a magus amid a hail of ice daggers. But ever since his wife disappeared, he spends his days in a haze of hashish and poetry.
To save the kingdom, Kevah must conquer his grief and become the legend he once was. But Micah writes his own legend in blood, and his righteous conquest will stop at nothing.
When the gods choose sides, a legend will be etched upon the stars.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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19th October – The Thunder Heist (Twisted Seas #1) by Jed Herne

A relentless thief. An impossible heist.
Meet Kef Cutmark. Pirate, monster-slayer, scourge of the Twisted Seas.
After a lifetime of running from her past, she’s returned to Zorith – a tangled jungle of a thousand boats, all lashed together to make a floating city-ship. Zorith is powered by a device that draws energy from lightning. Mysterious, unique, and locked in an unbreachable tower, it’s the envy of Zorith’s rivals.
And Kef? She’s here to steal it.
If she can take the device and cripple Zorith, maybe she’ll find justice for all the hurt the city has caused her. But with an unreliable thieving crew, hunters closing in, and her past bearing down upon her, failure looks more likely. And if she fails, she’ll never find peace again.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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20th October – The Chanter’s Blade (Bakunawa Rising #1) by A.A. Lee

The moon-eating serpent is coming.
Tasked to complete the seven blades, Makanas has traversed many lands, spending countless gold and waging wars. But when the last chief he has to face isn’t blinded by gold nor fear the blade, Makanas employed his last weapon—deceit to infiltrate his household.
Just when he thinks his plan is going well, colonizers who now rule the land uncover the chief’s traitorous plan. Lin-ay, the chief’s secluded daughter awakens the blade to protect her family—something Makanas has trained for and failed.
To defeat the giant moon eating serpent, he must get Lin-ay to the bolo warrior village, but first, she must trust him.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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20th October – Dreams of the Dying by Nicolas Lietzau

Jaaros Oonai, magnate, visionary, and master of coin, doesn’t muse about whether the glass is half empty or half full—only about ways to fill it.
Jespar Dal’Varek, drifter, mercenary, and master of avoidance, doesn’t muse at all. He’d rather just drink the damn wine.
Two lives that could not be more different intertwine when a strange contract leads Jespar to the tropical island empire of Kilay, the wealthiest nation of the Civilized World.
The mission turns out to be as bizarre as it is lucrative: Jaaros Oonai, the country’s merchant king, knows a secret that could stop a catastrophe, but he has fallen into an inexplicable coma. Together with an ex-priestess and a psychic, Jespar must enter Oonai’s dreams and find this secret.
What should have been a fresh start quickly turns into a nightmare, as Jespar slides into a spiral of disturbing dreams, political intrigue, and clashing ideals, where not only the fate of Kilay but his own sanity are at stake. It’s not long before he learns that sometimes only a spider’s thread divides the sleeping and the awoken.
And that there’s no greater enemy than one’s own mind.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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22nd October – The Soul’s Curse (Astrarose #1) by Cole T. Adams

In the land long forgotten, many secret plots of cultists, Kings, and Gods now cast long shadows across the four great kingdoms. Broken treaties and assassinations will only be the beginning as dark magic creeps beyond sight. Enraged beasts are being manipulated, while others cast curses and steal the very essence of life.
As these schemes begin to come to fruition, Aeric – a young warrior- becomes entangled in the web of misfortune and adventure. Now he must train in the way of the elites of old to challenge the evil within. Joined by new friends, Aeric will travel the lands of Astrarose, battling many of the foul creatures and enemies that plague the world around him. He will soon find out that unraveling the king’s plans has dire consequences.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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26th October – A Queen’s Command (Legend of Tal#2) by J.D.L. Rosell

The legend of Tal Harrenfel lives on, and a new song spreads across the Westreach. But as a devil inhabits Garin and old enemies and old flames haunt Tal, their victory promises to be short-lived…
Tal, Garin, and their companions survived the traps of one Extinguished at great cost, but their troubles have only begun. Garin having learned why Tal took him under his wing, the secret has broken them apart, even as circumstance and need force them to travel together. The roads to the elven realm of Gladelyl, once the safest in the Westreach, are rife with danger. And Tal is bound to the commands of the Elf Queen he cannot trust.
Upon reaching Elendol, the capital of Gladelyl, they find their troubles go further. With the gates to the East open, Elendol is in turmoil. The nobles strive for greater power, while the underclass and Eastern immigrants seek new rights. And all the while, an ancient enemy strives to turn them all against each other…
Now Garin must come to terms with his devil, and Tal with his challenges both past and present, before civil war tears Elendol apart…
Check it out on Goodreads.
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27th October – The Alchemyst’s Mirror by Liz Delton

Petra and Maisie Everturn just want to run their family’s tea shop, but when their explorer brother Jiordan goes missing while looking for an alchemycal artifact, none of them are safe.
The sisters must enlist the help of another explorer in order to find Jiordan or the artifact—before the mysterious alchemyst society finds them first.
However, when one of the sisters stumbles into the clutches of the most dangerous alchemyst in the city, the race to unravel the clues becomes desperate. And when they discover the truth about the artifact, their quest to infiltrate the alchemyst’s secret society becomes a matter of life and death.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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28th October – Past Legends: An Arthurian Fantasy (The Camelot Immortals #1) by A.F. Stewart

An immortal witch of Camelot. A looming magical crisis. A destiny she’s willing to reject.
All Nimue wants is a peaceful life, but her past won’t leave her alone. And when her friend Iseult brings news that her old rival Morgawse has been abducted, an impending catastrophe lands on her doorstep. And worse, the wizard responsible is Nimue’s ex, Nostradamus.
Dragged into another adventure, Nimue confronts her former flame as he wages a desperate quest, only to be thrust deeper into an escalating crisis. As Nimue struggles to unravel what is happening, she discovers dark secrets that threaten the heart of magical energy. Now it’s her fate to rescue magic for every witch and wizard, including her friends. Trouble is, she wants no part of being magic’s saviour.
Will Nimue step up as a champion? Or will she let the magical world die?
Check it out on Goodreads.
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31st October – A Darkness Beckons (Hollow Fate #2) by Todd Herzman

A seeker has a holy mission, to cleanse the Kharleon Empire of magic—and then the world.
On the island of Gailopas, Ella wakes from a coma to find that not only has her sixteenth birthday passed in her sleep, but she’s also lost her powers. She has her family back, and together, they defeated the God King.
But without her magic, she feels lost.
While Ruben and Jesriel sail to the Albion Dominion, to defeat any blood mages left over after the God King’s demise, Ella and Marius journey to the Tahali mountains. They travel to the monks in search of aid, and—Ella hopes—a way to get her powers back.
On their way, they pass through Hirlcrest, the capital of the Kharleon Empire, where they find a peaceful monk being attacked by a seeker.
The seeker vows to wage war on the Tahali monastery, and it’s up to Ella and Marius to save the monks.
Check it out on Goodreads.
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31st October – The Devil’s Day (Lucky Devil #3) by Megan Mackie

You can always find help at the Lucky Devil.
Rune Leveau—emerging Talent and one-time corporate prisoner—knew that better than anyone. She’d rebuilt her life at the Lucky Devil bar, with her Aunt Maddie’s help. Now, in her aunt’s memory, Rune continues that legacy.
But when it is time for the Devil to collect his due, Rune could lose it all…
With the days counting down until she must defend her claim to the House of Magdalene—including the bar—Rune and her partner, the cyber-spy St. Benedict, hunt for a way to defeat her challenger, the fire Talent, Abraxas. Instead, they uncover long-kept secrets. But do they hold the key?
No matter what, the Devil will have its Day…
Check it out on Goodreads.
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Space for more…
submitted by RobJHayes to Fantasy [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 12:44 AnyChipmunk An Essay on Rage

Warning: If you are not in a headspace to read about harassment, abuse, or similar topics, I encourage you to skip this.
I am filled with rage. Somehow I (almost) always suppress it. Yet each time I push it down, I feel it building. The pressure will soon become too much, and I fear I will be devoured by flames.
When I was a young child, my grandmother bought me a children's bible. I loved it. There were beautiful watercolor paintings to go with each story. Morality and honesty were at the forefront, with Good Ol' White Jesus leading the way. That year I asked for a portrait of Jesus for Christmas and my parents were surprised. We never went to church and we only celebrated holidays as a means to give presents and bake cookies.
After a move from our rural area to a town in my early teens, I found a little fire of anger in myself. I felt so much pressure to look certain ways, to win approval from my peers, and to run in the right groups. I wanted to begin experiencing life, but my idea of experiences were very reflective of my age. I had started to question if I wanted to be the person I was trying to be, and it made me angry that the world gave me few other options. My parents began taking us to church, but I realized how misogynistic the bible was, at least in the faith my parents wanted to attend. I refused to sing, I refused to stand, I refused to participate. I felt betrayed and misled by my little childhood bible. The little flame grew.
I first lost control of my little flame when a lifelong friend was being bullied. I tried to stand up for her in the cafeteria and I left that group behind for good afterwards. I couldn't take it anymore. No one remembers my meal time tirade except me, I think. After that, I had lost everything I had worked for. So I went all out (according to young me) and started dressing in black clothing. Rumors started that I was on drugs, and to be honest I relished it. I wanted people to see me as dangerous because I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to abandon that world. Around this time I had my first real boyfriend. He turned abusive, withering my flame with a bucket of sludge. Verbal and sexual abuse followed me for almost two years. I got out eventually and switched schools. I felt lucky to be alive, as threats of physical violence were starting to come to fruition.
It took many years to wipe away the cruelty of that relationship. And still it stuck to me, coming out in times of grief and confusion. I went from one problematic relationship to another, my flame was sputtering and I thought it went out for good. I came to a breaking point after a vacation with a long term boyfriend. I was so happy... we had been in a tropical paradise and he hadn't yelled at me. Not once. Then I realized how ridiculous that was and I ended it. My flame jumped back to life and I tried to blindly find my way back to myself.
I went on many dates, I was called picky or salty. But I had my flame back and that is what mattered the most to me. I found myself in an odd relationship with an old high school friend. He was endearing, albeit an alcoholic. I spoke about past abuse with him because I felt safe. After that he choked me during an intimate moment. I left his home that morning and never went back. I booked myself therapy sessions and got a new apartment, stoking the fire. And then Trump won the election. My flame sputtered out, it was like the sludge was all over me again. I felt worthless, like nothing at all.
An opportunity arose for me to travel for a new job in Europe. I saw the red flags from my boss, but I ignored them. I had an opportunity and I wanted to pursue it. I found the love of my life, and began to heal and trust in a way my anger never let me do before. But my work situation got worse with each passing day. So while I am supported and loved in my home, my rage builds at my workplace. His actions are so idiotic, the irritation pierces right through me. Feeding the flames.
I am angry about the pandemic and the lasting effects it is having on my home country. I am angry about GOP in general. I am angry about the tactics used to replace RBG. I am angry at my boss and his continued lack of empathy, support, or decency. I am angry that I am stuck in this position because of my visa.
And so builds my rage fire. The sludge that once drowned me has finally caught and I don't know where to put it. I cannot keep pressing it down. I look for new jobs every day, but none have responded. I look for new ways to cope with my personal work situation but none of it works. I look for the good people, the people wanting to make change, and they look back in despair. I am tired of this anger and yet I can do nothing at this moment but let it consume me.
This subreddit is one of the few places where I feel myself heard. Our anger is powerful, but I am not sure how to use it in the real world. I suppose I am looking for a leader, because I am not one. A movement, a tide of rage, please let us use it.
submitted by AnyChipmunk to WitchesVsPatriarchy [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 12:16 ModeratorsOfArmenia Azerbaijan launches wide scale attack against Artsakh [Day 2]

Please abide by the text of the sidebar and refrain from any incendiary expressions especially calls for violence or hate speech. Please help the mod team and report any offending content you find. Thank you.
Megathread of day 1: /armenia/comments/j0kxja/megathread_attack_on_artsakh_september_2020/
Disclaimer: Due to the nature of the conflict only official sources provide information and fog of war exists. Further analysis is carried out by third parties. Other third parties gather this information and present them on their own terms, including media and ordinary people. It goes without saying that information emanating from official sources should be taken for what they are and not be treated as being independent news.
David's concise and detailed wrap up of the developing war:
Donations:
Method 1 (reported to work better):
Post by the #2 official at the Diaspora High Commissioners Office:
https://www.facebook.com/sara.anjargolian/posts/10158231569251359
Basically, the important takeaway is that you can just log into Paypal directly and send money to [email protected] and you won't have to deal with the Armeniafund/Himnadram websites at all.
Method 2:
Minister of Territorial Administration and Development of Armenia Suren Papikyan's message where he mentions how to donate:
You can do paypal or you can use the website on hamahaykakan.
https://www.facebook.com/papikyan.suren/posts/1391228174419380
https://www.himnadram.org/en
Links to official sources:
Links to analysts and experts:
  • https://twitter.com/Tom_deWaal <- Thomas de Waal is a senior fellow with Carnegie Europe, specializing in Eastern Europe and the Caucasus region, author of the book Black Garden: Armenia and Azerbaijan Through Peace and War
  • https://twitter.com/LaurenceBroers <- Laurence Broers is the Caucasus programme director at London-based peacebuilding organization Conciliation Resources. He has more than 20 years’ experience as a researcher of conflicts in the South Caucasus and practitioner of peacebuilding initiatives in the region.
  • https://twitter.com/emil_sanamyan <- Washington-based independent Armenian conflict analyst Emil Sanamyan
If you would like to see other links or other information here please leave a comment or write to the mod team (do not send private messages to this account). Thanks.
Հայեր ջան, պետք չի հարվածների, պայթյունների տեղերը նկարել ու գցել սոցցանցեր, ու պետք չի նաև տարածել։
Դրանով նավոդկա եք տալիս ադրբեջանցիներին, թե ոնց են խփել, ուր են խփել, կպել են, չեն կպել, և այլն։ Մի խոսքով. ՄԻ ՕԳՆԵՔ ԱԴՐԲԵՋԱՆՑԻՆԵՐԻՆ։
Հիմա դրանց հետախուզությունը սոցցանցերում է լցված։
Կարեն Վրթանեսյան, Razm.info կայքի համակարգող
It is vital that we don’t re-circulate videos or images that may show our positions on the front line. The Armenian military has already asked that people don’t post any information regarding this invasion.
Trust me I know how badly we want to know what’s going on, but for the sake of our country we can’t. No matter how well intentioned a video of a tank moving through a village for morale may very well lead to the death our Armenian troops. Save lives don’t post.
Statements from international organisations backing negotiations within the OSCE Minsk Group framework:
What is all this about?
(in backwards chronological order)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/July_2020_Armenian–Azerbaijani_clashes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Nagorno-Karabakh_clashes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nagorno-Karabakh_conflict
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenian%E2%80%93Azerbaijani_War
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Artsakh
Is there a neutral narrative of the conflict?
Recently the UK based Conciliation Resources released a documentary jointly produced by Armenian and Azerbaijani journalists. This is agreed to be the most neutral account of the conflict ever made, you can watch it online here: https://www.c-r.org/news-and-insight/film-parts-circle-history-karabakh-conflict
Black Garden: Armenia and Azerbaijan through Peace and War by Thomas de Waal is agreed to be the best book on the conflict: https://nyupress.org/9780814760321/black-garden/
Is there a peace plan?
Azerbaijan and the Armenian side have agreed in principle to the settlement process mediated by the OSCE Minsk Group co-chaired by the US, Russia and France with a mandate from the UN, which since 2009 has consisted of the following proposal:
The ministers of the US, France, and Russia presented a preliminary version of the Basic Principles for a settlement to Armenia and Azerbaijan in November 2007 in Madrid.
The Basic Principles reflect a reasonable compromise based on the Helsinki Final Act principles of Non-Use of Force, Territorial Integrity, and the Equal Rights and Self-Determination of Peoples.
The Basic Principles call for inter alia:
  • return of the territories surrounding Nagorno-Karabakh to Azerbaijani control;
  • an interim status for Nagorno-Karabakh providing guarantees for security and self-governance;
  • a corridor linking Armenia to Nagorno-Karabakh;
  • future determination of the final legal status of Nagorno-Karabakh through a legally binding expression of will;
  • the right of all internally displaced persons and refugees to return to their former places of residence; and
  • international security guarantees that would include a peacekeeping operation.
The endorsement of these Basic Principles by Armenia and Azerbaijan will allow the drafting of a comprehensive settlement to ensure a future of peace, stability, and prosperity for Armenia and Azerbaijan and the broader region.
However there has been no meaningful progress in the negotiations, meanwhile the mediating group focusing on containing the conflict proposed to harden the ceasefire regime following the 2016 April "four day war" as well as following the Armenian revolution of 2018 made a proposal to the sides to prepare the populations for peace.
Thomas de Waal:
Russia, the US and the EU have enough tools to contain both sides, but they have neither the time, nor the energy, nor the desire to try to force Armenia and Azerbaijan to conclude peace, let alone send peacekeepers who will have to monitor the implementation of the agreement.
Sergey Markedonov (Carnegie Moscow Center):
Russia is well aware that the search for compromises is the business of the Armenian and Azerbaijani sides. They are not ready for this, but no one will do this work for them.
Sources:
https://www.osce.org/mg/51152
http://www.osce.org/mg/240316
https://www.osce.org/minsk-group/409220
https://www.crisisgroup.org/content/nagorno-karabakh-conflict-visual-explainer
https://np.reddit.com/armenia/comments/hv1ost/thomas_de_waal_the_situation_is_changing_very/fyr17gk/
https://np.reddit.com/armenia/comments/hvqwef/combining_roles_what_does_the_new/
What disinformation is prevalent about this conflict?
One of the most entrenched disinformations is that pertaining to the nature of the UN Security Council resolutions on the conflict.
The UN Security Council resolutions concern with and recognise the invasions and occupations of the surrounding territories of Nagorno-Karabakh carried out by local Armenians of Nagorno Karabakh.
The UN Security Council resolutions
  1. do NOT recognise Republic of Armenia having invaded or occupied any territories,
  2. do NOT recognise Nagorno-Karabakh as occupied or invaded territory,
  3. do NOT demand Republic of Armenia to withdraw forces from any territories,
  4. do NOT demand any forces to be withdrawn from Nagorno-Karabakh.
Sources:
http://2001-2009.state.gov/p/eurls/o13508.htm
submitted by ModeratorsOfArmenia to armenia [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 12:10 Interesting_Elk_2271 AITA for being late for a Tinder date

I had 3 dates with a guy on Tinder.
1st date I was late (very and unreasonably). Restaurant was next to his house and 35 km away from me by car. I told him when I left my place, he said okay. When I got to the restaurant, he already left. He ignored my messages and a phone call. Then he messaged me "thanks for coming but this won't work". I apologized and asked if it was possible for me to take him out for dinner right now, as an apology, since I was already there. He agreed. We had a nice time. Later he told me that he had deleted me from social media, but didn't delete me from his phone because he wanted me to drive there to teach me a lesson and to see what my reaction was when I found out he left.
2nd date I was on time. We had a nice time.
3rd date I was late again. This time it was out of my control. We messaged each other updates so he knew I would be on time. I live with my family and major conflict started at home (among all 4 members). Conflict in my family escalates to physical violence (not on my part). With my financial situation, I can't leave yet. I let him know right away, said there's a family issue, I'd be late, vague details since its personal. He understood, said no rush. Date was for a fancy restaurant so I was dressed up.
When I went to pick him up, he was in sweat pants. I was 30 minutes late. He got in and said we're getting fast food instead. This upset me, felt like he was punishing me. I asked if he still wanted to go to the original place since I was dressed up, drove all the way here. He said he wasn't in the mood because I disrespected him by being late. I said if he wasn't feeling like going out today then we can go another time. He said okay and got out of the car.
After he left I drove a few blocks away and cried. Not just for the date, but everything. I sent him a message to apologize and give him more information on the conflict. I thought it was a valid reason to be late but he replied I still disrespected him and that he was also upset because I was late. I think my reason for being upset was more significant than his, and thought he would be more understanding. You can let me know if I'm unreasonable. I said I understood his feelings, but I was upset today and this hurt me more, that I wish we did the date as originally planned and that some comfort would have been so nice. He said he couldn't comfort me since he was hurt too and he would've comforted me and been understanding if I had accepted going for fast food.
AITA?
submitted by Interesting_Elk_2271 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 10:40 Ford456fgfd [Blythe dolls] Betrayal and backlash in the big-eyed doll community when a convention organizer loses $23K

WHO IS BLYTHE
Blythe was a fashion doll produced by Kenner (perhaps better known as the Star Wars figures company) for a single year in the seventies. Inspired by Betty Boop, she had a large head and huge eyes, with the gimmick that when you pulled a string on the back of her head, her eyes closed, and when they opened they changed color and expression.
Groovy and glam Blythe did not do well in the toy market, probably because many found her proportions and wide-eyed stare unsettling, as many* still do. However, decades later she was rediscovered, and when TV producer Gina Garan was introduced to creative director Junko Wong and released a book of photography entitled THIS IS BLYTHE featuring the doll, Blythe was catapulted into the spotlight.
Blythe fever swept the world, she appeared in ad campaigns for Target’s Alexander McQueen collab and on boxes of hair dye, and Japanese company Takara, makers of the extremely popular Licca doll, acquired the rights to her image and began producing reproductions in fresh, modernized outfits and hairstyles, ushering in a new era of rabid fans. The craze took root in Japan (always ahead of the curve when it comes to big-eyed cuteness) and rapidly spread to the western world, including a bustling North American fanbase. Blythe had finally found her audience, and a diverse audience it was—she attracted toy collectors, old women, elitist BJD fans, hobby seamstresses, sculptors, goths, pastel kawaii princesses, pop surrealist artists, and more, all united by their love of Blythe’s quirky looks and the burgeoning and extremely popular customization community that kept pushing the limits of what a Blythe could look like.
The community thrived on Flickr and on several message boards, perhaps most notably a forum that we will call Blythe Castle, a fantasy-themed wonderland of buying, selling, trading, generous hints-and-tips sharing, and photo exchanging. The community grew both expansive and tightly-knit, engaging in photo challenges, sharing mail, and having community in-jokes and memes. Eventually it became clear that with such a diverse fanbase uniting so passionately over one hobby, a convention simply must take place—and so Blythecons began.
BLYTHECON
The first couple of American Blythecons—and the Blythecons in other countries—aren’t relevant to this post. Suffice to say that they were a smash hit, the vendors did a brisk business, photos of giant piles of big-eyed dolls arranged on staircases flooded Flickr pages, and everyone had a grand old time planning for next year. Information for those early days—including for the drama we are about to discuss—has largely been lost to the sands of time, so I apologize for any gaps in detail.
Blythecon 2012 went off swimmingly with no major hiccups, and kudos poured in for the event organizers, including two Blythe Castle administrators: we’ll call them Eri and Red. Despite neither of them living anywhere close to Dallas, the city in which the con was held, they organized remotely and the attendees, to judge from the internet chatter at the time, had a great time. Blythecon 2012 showed the community shaping up into a real force: there were demonstrations, contests, and immediate plans for Blythecon 2013, to be held in New York City in October.
Prebooked tickets sold briskly in 2012 and the community was from an early date abuzz with excitement about the upcoming event, which promised to be even better than the Dallas show. Plans were made early, despite an unusual lack of communication coming down from above about concrete details.
People had faith in Red and Eri after the enormous success of the previous year, and held tight despite the occasional uneasiness as the con date crept closer. Which made it all the more shocking when eventually, just a month before the convention was scheduled to occur, Eri made a public post on a journal devoted to chronicling scammers and shady business dealings in the dolly community, and the information rapidly spread across the Castle.
THE EXPOSURE
The explosive post was brief, but ugly: Red had informed Eri that the Blythecon money, which had been kept in Red’s personal account, had been garnished. A grim line in the post summed up the situation in brief: “$23428.18 is gone. I have received $3893.36 back and will need $8906.64 by next Friday, to make BlytheCon happen.”
Red was apparently selling dolls on the Blythe Castle forums to attempt to recoup the money. In the comments to the post, Eri laid out the entire email history between herself and Red—at least dating from the time that Red finally began answering emails, as she had apparently been ignoring them.
In the lengthy discussions that followed—dating back to mid-August for a convention, remember, slated to happen in October—Red claimed that the money had been garnished a month before, and that she had attempted suicide in the aftermath. She repeatedly brought up her suicide attempt, her mental health, and her limited internet access (unexplained), until Eri was compelled to state, firmly, that feelings of guilt were not relevant to the conversation: the money needed to be accounted for, and quickly, or Eri would have to call off the event.
Eri in the emails also mentions the grim reality of her own situation: while Red’s name is on the financials, her own name is on the event, and when this all comes crumbling down she will not only face public backlash in a community where many people have her address and contact information, she can be—according to her lawyer—held legally an accomplice. She demands Red come clean publicly, even if it has to be in a vague way, and Red demurs, saying that her own legal advice had been to the contrary, apparently not realizing why Eri is asking this of her.
In the increasingly cagey series of emails Red makes various promises to supply money from this or that location on some future date, and offers to send Eri a pile of dolls and “sundries” (clothes and accessories for dolls) to sell to raise funds, then continues to be cagey about the tracking numbers for said packages. She says that cancelling the event would not “be fair” for attendees, in a moment that one can only describe as a little tone-deaf. Eri, having run out of ultimatums and having involved the police, went public.
Understandably, all hell broke loose. I myself discovered this when returning from a long hiatus and finding Red’s username on the forum with BANNED written under it, several deleted threads, and a notably sluggish and uninvolved community that had been bouncing along speedily months before, in a moment akin to touching one’s fingertips to the ground and murmuring “some great violence occurred here.” But for the moment, there was still a loud contingent of people who insisted: the show must go on. The convention must continue. The money must be gotten, the ticketholders must have something to show for their funds, and the convention, despite everything, must be held.
The promised box of dolls and sundries arrived to Eri two days after the situation went public, and Eri began selling off the dolls to raise money to secure the venue. In the meantime Red continued finalizing sales of dolls she had listed on the Castle forums, and donations poured in from some generous anonymous benefactors, listed by initial in an update post by Eri to assure people that yes—the funds were coming together, and the convention would not, despite everything, be canceled. Eri also mentioned that one member of the community had gotten in touch with an offer to act as financial adviser which she—wisely—had accepted. Equally wisely, she had insisted to Red that money raised from Red’s doll sales be sent to an independent Paypal account and not Eri’s own personal one.
In the meantime, Eri came under scrutiny, and the community—quite understandably—had questions. Why wasn’t the venue secured earlier, when tickets went on sale the year before? Why did Eri cover for Red for weeks of back-and-forth emailing instead of freely informing the public what was at stake? Shouldn’t Eri step down as admin of the Castle forums and let someone else take the reins? The debate raged on, but still, there was a more pressing issue—the convention itself.
THE CONVENTION
Miraculously, the story has a better ending than such hobby drama stories generally do. Doubtless many started this story and formed an impression of a canceled con or a disaster, but—shockingly—neither happened.
The community rallied. The funds were acquired. Legal action was pursued in earnest against Red by both Eri and members of the community, and the convention, against all odds, went on. In October, in New York City, hundreds of Blythe fans gathered at the hotel and there were vendors, demonstrations, and—of course—lots and lots of dolly photos. Videos taken from the convention floor look cheery, post-Facebook chatter is pleasantly joyful, and all in all few seem to even remember that the con funds were absconded with by a respected member of the community.
THE FALLOUT
Despite the success of Blythecon 2013, the stain was there, and the final post on the 2013 convention’s Facebook page—on the heels of several happy discussions about vendor tables—is a detailed list of instructions for pursuing legal action against Red. The Castle forums never quite recovered from the shock of Red’s betrayal, and Eri, while maintaining her post as admin, never had quite the public trust that she had had before. The forums continued to be active, but the pall cast by the event lingered and probably—although this is speculation—helped contribute to their winding down. The community drifted to Facebook, torn asunder still more by the flagging of Flickr—hitherto a primary gathering place for fans—and to Instagram, and to this day remains fragmented. Blythe Castle still stands, but between the 2013 fallout and classic forums falling out of fashion, it is a very quiet—and often silent—place.
In a last little stab of drama, some of the buyers of Red’s emergency sale Blythes posted that they had never gotten their dolls. These public conversations peter out. The final post remaining on the original discussion post is an ominous reply to someone asking if restitution was ever made. Posted in December by one of Red’s buyers, two months after the convention, it reads in its entirety: “Nope.”
Blythecons in North America, however, continued. As far as I am aware, there has been a successful Blythecon every year until Blythecon Calgary 2020, when COVID-19 did what Red couldn’t and robbed Blythe fans of their annual place to hang out with their big-eyed plastic pals, bonding over their shared, somewhat eccentric hobby. It continued online, was apparently—for an online convention—pretty successful, and brought a spark of unity to an increasingly-fragmented community.
It’s unlikely that anything will ever replace the close-knit, unified North American Blythe community that existed before 2013. It’s equally unlikely that 2013 was entirely to blame for the fragmentation of the fanbase when so much of it can be chalked up to evolving technology and changing social media landscapes, as well as quality issues with Takara Blythes and the flood of cheap and divisive counterfeits (a subject for another post), but it did undoubtedly have some effect on the Blythe Castle part of it. But although the hobby has grown increasingly far-flung, it remains filled with passionate fans, and many of the names that turned up in discussions about Red’s betrayal, Eri’s cover-up, and last-minute hotel bookings back in 2013 still show up in conversations about Blythe today—and conventions, along with their funds, are handled with a lot more scrutiny.
*I love Blythe but the first time I bought one I turned her face to the wall while I slept. It takes some getting used to.
submitted by Ford456fgfd to HobbyDrama [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 10:39 rejamrejam [Blythe dolls] Betrayal and backlash in the big-eyed doll community when a convention organizer loses $23K

WHO IS BLYTHE
Blythe was a fashion doll produced by Kenner (perhaps better known as the Star Wars figures company) for a single year in the seventies. Inspired by Betty Boop, she had a large head and huge eyes, with the gimmick that when you pulled a string on the back of her head, her eyes closed, and when they opened they changed color and expression.
Groovy and glam Blythe did not do well in the toy market, probably because many found her proportions and wide-eyed stare unsettling, as many* still do. However, decades later she was rediscovered, and when TV producer Gina Garan was introduced to creative director Junko Wong and released a book of photography entitled THIS IS BLYTHE featuring the doll, Blythe was catapulted into the spotlight.
Blythe fever swept the world, she appeared in ad campaigns for Target’s Alexander McQueen collab and on boxes of hair dye, and Japanese company Takara, makers of the extremely popular Licca doll, acquired the rights to her image and began producing reproductions in fresh, modernized outfits and hairstyles, ushering in a new era of rabid fans. The craze took root in Japan (always ahead of the curve when it comes to big-eyed cuteness) and rapidly spread to the western world, including a bustling North American fanbase. Blythe had finally found her audience, and a diverse audience it was—she attracted toy collectors, old women, elitist BJD fans, hobby seamstresses, sculptors, goths, pastel kawaii princesses, pop surrealist artists, and more, all united by their love of Blythe’s quirky looks and the burgeoning and extremely popular customization community that kept pushing the limits of what a Blythe could look like.
The community thrived on Flickr and on several message boards, perhaps most notably a forum that we will call Blythe Castle, a fantasy-themed wonderland of buying, selling, trading, generous hints-and-tips sharing, and photo exchanging. The community grew both expansive and tightly-knit, engaging in photo challenges, sharing mail, and having community in-jokes and memes. Eventually it became clear that with such a diverse fanbase uniting so passionately over one hobby, a convention simply must take place—and so Blythecons began.
BLYTHECON
The first couple of American Blythecons—and the Blythecons in other countries—aren’t relevant to this post. Suffice to say that they were a smash hit, the vendors did a brisk business, photos of giant piles of big-eyed dolls arranged on staircases flooded Flickr pages, and everyone had a grand old time planning for next year. Information for those early days—including for the drama we are about to discuss—has largely been lost to the sands of time, so I apologize for any gaps in detail.
Blythecon 2012 went off swimmingly with no major hiccups, and kudos poured in for the event organizers, including two Blythe Castle administrators: we’ll call them Eri and Red. Despite neither of them living anywhere close to Dallas, the city in which the con was held, they organized remotely and the attendees, to judge from the internet chatter at the time, had a great time. Blythecon 2012 showed the community shaping up into a real force: there were demonstrations, contests, and immediate plans for Blythecon 2013, to be held in New York City in October.
Prebooked tickets sold briskly in 2012 and the community was from an early date abuzz with excitement about the upcoming event, which promised to be even better than the Dallas show. Plans were made early, despite an unusual lack of communication coming down from above about concrete details.
People had faith in Red and Eri after the enormous success of the previous year, and held tight despite the occasional uneasiness as the con date crept closer. Which made it all the more shocking when eventually, just a month before the convention was scheduled to occur, Eri made a public post on a journal devoted to chronicling scammers and shady business dealings in the dolly community, and the information rapidly spread across the Castle.
THE EXPOSURE
The explosive post was brief, but ugly: Red had informed Eri that the Blythecon money, which had been kept in Red’s personal account, had been garnished. A grim line in the post summed up the situation in brief: “$23428.18 is gone. I have received $3893.36 back and will need $8906.64 by next Friday, to make BlytheCon happen.”
Red was apparently selling dolls on the Blythe Castle forums to attempt to recoup the money. In the comments to the post, Eri laid out the entire email history between herself and Red—at least dating from the time that Red finally began answering emails, as she had apparently been ignoring them.
In the lengthy discussions that followed—dating back to mid-August for a convention, remember, slated to happen in October—Red claimed that the money had been garnished a month before, and that she had attempted suicide in the aftermath. She repeatedly brought up her suicide attempt, her mental health, and her limited internet access (unexplained), until Eri was compelled to state, firmly, that feelings of guilt were not relevant to the conversation: the money needed to be accounted for, and quickly, or Eri would have to call off the event.
Eri in the emails also mentions the grim reality of her own situation: while Red’s name is on the financials, her own name is on the event, and when this all comes crumbling down she will not only face public backlash in a community where many people have her address and contact information, she can be—according to her lawyer—held legally an accomplice. She demands Red come clean publicly, even if it has to be in a vague way, and Red demurs, saying that her own legal advice had been to the contrary, apparently not realizing why Eri is asking this of her.
In the increasingly cagey series of emails Red makes various promises to supply money from this or that location on some future date, and offers to send Eri a pile of dolls and “sundries” (clothes and accessories for dolls) to sell to raise funds, then continues to be cagey about the tracking numbers for said packages. She says that cancelling the event would not “be fair” for attendees, in a moment that one can only describe as a little tone-deaf. Eri, having run out of ultimatums and having involved the police, went public.
Understandably, all hell broke loose. I myself discovered this when returning from a long hiatus and finding Red’s username on the forum with BANNED written under it, several deleted threads, and a notably sluggish and uninvolved community that had been bouncing along speedily months before, in a moment akin to touching one’s fingertips to the ground and murmuring “some great violence occurred here.” But for the moment, there was still a loud contingent of people who insisted: the show must go on. The convention must continue. The money must be gotten, the ticketholders must have something to show for their funds, and the convention, despite everything, must be held.
The promised box of dolls and sundries arrived to Eri two days after the situation went public, and Eri began selling off the dolls to raise money to secure the venue. In the meantime Red continued finalizing sales of dolls she had listed on the Castle forums, and donations poured in from some generous anonymous benefactors, listed by initial in an update post by Eri to assure people that yes—the funds were coming together, and the convention would not, despite everything, be canceled. Eri also mentioned that one member of the community had gotten in touch with an offer to act as financial adviser which she—wisely—had accepted. Equally wisely, she had insisted to Red that money raised from Red’s doll sales be sent to an independent Paypal account and not Eri’s own personal one.
In the meantime, Eri came under scrutiny, and the community—quite understandably—had questions. Why wasn’t the venue secured earlier, when tickets went on sale the year before? Why did Eri cover for Red for weeks of back-and-forth emailing instead of freely informing the public what was at stake? Shouldn’t Eri step down as admin of the Castle forums and let someone else take the reins? And why on EARTH was the money being held in Red's personal bank account? The debate raged on, but still, there was a more pressing issue—the convention itself.
THE CONVENTION
Miraculously, the story has a better ending than such hobby drama stories generally do. Doubtless many started this story and formed an impression of a canceled con or a disaster, but—shockingly—neither happened.
The community rallied. The funds were acquired. Legal action was pursued in earnest against Red by both Eri and members of the community, and the convention, against all odds, went on. In October, in New York City, hundreds of Blythe fans gathered at the hotel and there were vendors, demonstrations, and—of course—lots and lots of dolly photos. Videos taken from the convention floor look cheery, post-Facebook chatter is pleasantly joyful, and all in all few seem to even remember that the con funds were absconded with by a respected member of the community.
THE FALLOUT
Despite the success of Blythecon 2013, the stain was there, and the final post on the 2013 convention’s Facebook page—on the heels of several happy discussions about vendor tables—is a detailed list of instructions for pursuing legal action against Red. The Castle forums never quite recovered from the shock of Red’s betrayal, and Eri, while maintaining her post as admin, never had quite the public trust that she had had before. The forums continued to be active, but the pall cast by the event lingered and probably—although this is speculation—helped contribute to their winding down. The community drifted to Facebook, torn asunder still more by the flagging of Flickr—hitherto a primary gathering place for fans—and to Instagram, and to this day remains fragmented. Blythe Castle still stands, but between the 2013 fallout and classic forums falling out of fashion, it is a very quiet—and often silent—place.
In a last little stab of drama, some of the buyers of Red’s emergency sale Blythes posted that they had never gotten their dolls. These public conversations peter out. The final post remaining on the original discussion post is an ominous reply to someone asking if restitution was ever made. Posted in December by one of Red’s buyers, two months after the convention, it reads in its entirety: “Nope.”
Blythecons in North America, however, continued. As far as I am aware, there has been a successful Blythecon every year until Blythecon Calgary 2020, when COVID-19 did what Red couldn’t and robbed Blythe fans of their annual place to hang out with their big-eyed plastic pals, bonding over their shared, somewhat eccentric hobby. It continued online, was apparently—for an online convention—pretty successful, and brought a spark of unity to an increasingly-fragmented community.
It’s unlikely that anything will ever replace the close-knit, unified North American Blythe community that existed before 2013. It’s equally unlikely that 2013 was entirely to blame for the fragmentation of the fanbase when so much of it can be chalked up to evolving technology and changing social media landscapes, as well as quality issues with Takara Blythes and the flood of cheap and divisive counterfeits (a subject for another post), but it did undoubtedly have some effect on the Blythe Castle part of it. But although the hobby has grown increasingly far-flung, it remains filled with passionate fans, and many of the names that turned up in discussions about Red’s betrayal, Eri’s cover-up, and last-minute hotel bookings back in 2013 still show up in conversations about Blythe today—and conventions, along with their funds, are handled with a lot more scrutiny.
*I love Blythe but the first time I bought one I turned her face to the wall while I slept. It takes some getting used to.
submitted by rejamrejam to HobbyDrama [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 10:00 ScrappyMasseur I don't know how to get out...

Me (34M) and my girlfriend (40F) have been dating on and off for about 5 years now. Normally, I avoid sharing my feelings, especially as a male, with my friends and family as I don't like causing drama, but I'm at the point right now where I need help...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed because of how pathetic and low I've become, but I'm going to be honest and admit my faults right now.
About 2 years ago, we got into another argument at a restaurant because of a disagreement. I got into the car, waited, and she wouldn't get in... I drove off. We didn't talk to each other for a few months and thought we had broken up. I had no intention of ever talking to her again.
After, I dated another girl. And about 6 months into the relationship, she said that she was getting unknown phone calls on a daily basis, and "felt" as if someone was stalking her. I know this was a stupid move, but I got back with my girlfriend because I did not want her to harm/stalk her.
Fast forward until now, I feel like every day I am being punished by my girlfriend for making that decision I did that day. I am not attracted to her in any way, shape, or form as I believe that she is one of the most manipulative women I have ever met and will do "anything" to get what she wants.
Currently, she owns a nail salon business and has been running it since we first met. In the beginning, when I had heard her traumatic past health story, I was drawn to helping her make this business succeed. It provided a sense of purpose for me.
But right now, all I do is just favors for her. It includes mopping floors, taking out the trash, driving her to Costco, filling up the gas, buying her food and so on. This doesn't feel like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship; it feels more like an employeemployee relationship, yet she still regards me as her boyfriend...?
I know this is getting long, but I want to sum it up with what happened recently. A few months ago, she said the only way I could get out of the relationship was if I found her a "rich, white husband." So yesterday, I spend close to my last $100 on Match.com and created a profile for her, because I am desperate to get out.
I thought I was doing a good job because a banker was interested in her profile. When I told her this, she yelled at me saying I was on Match.com to "cheat" on her again. Then she said to hand over the account name/password so she can be the one who messages the guys, and also that she no longer wants me to do this she just wants me to focus 100% in marketing for the business.
Then and there, I told her I wanted to move on from the relationship. She said I don't get that privilege and that only when the business is successful, then she will tell me I can move on. She has repeatedly gone to my house and honked the horn as a way for me to listen to her and obey her commands.
I tried calling 911. After the dispatcher told me to file a restraining order, she continued to harass me and said if I ever do that again, she would make my life worse than it already is.
No matter what I do or say, I cannot logically win any argument with her and usually resorts to some bogus threat that she intends to do to me such as having to pay her money back for borrowing things I don't even remember. Nothing makes sense when I'm talking to her and somehow, usually I'm the one at fault at the end of it.
I feel like if I do leave, she will do everything in her power to get revenge, even at the cost of her life because she is that level of crazy. She works within 15 minutes of me and knows where I live. I don't have the financial means to move somewhere else.
And because I watch this show so much, sometimes it's easier for me to stay in the relationship, because I don't want to end up on Dateline one day.
I'm just so drained right now that I don't know what to do. I don't want to fight, because I try to avoid violence; yet, I just... don't want to live... no that's too much. I just give up and follow orders in hopes that she will be happy one day and let me go in peace.
I wish to be single again. And start over. I'm about to apply to acupuncture school in a week and this is the last thing I want to think about. My thoughts are all in a blur... Do I need someone's permission to break up with them? Does it take the consent of 2 people? Should I try to reason with her and talk about a plan or something?
I don't know... maybe I deserve this as karma or something for hurting her in the past...
Hoping to get objective feedback from other men who might have gone through something similar and maybe also from a female's perspective. Thank you for reading.
TL; DR - In an abusive relationship as a male, about to apply to master's degree program in a week, can't focus, and don't know how to deal with this situation.
submitted by ScrappyMasseur to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 07:29 sindoreis I found something in my google drive that I wrote when I groomed by a 22 year old man at 17 and it made me realize how far I've come.

" My [17F] boyfriend [22m] semi-regularly throws tantrums with little to no provocation. I’m not sure how to proceed.
I know a lot of people are going to jump at the age gap so I’ll start by explaining where I am in life. I’m not in school and I haven’t been since I was 14 due to mental health issues. Throughout the past year I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, social anxiety [which I have mostly overcome!], and ADHD. I got my GED last month, going to try to my license on Friday, and I’m applying for a technical program for practical nursing in which if I am accepted, I will start in winter. My boyfriend has been the driving force in motivating me to do all of this.
We’ve been together 6 months, we met through work and we have been inseparable ever since. We see eachother everyday, I wake up next to him, you get the idea. He is genuinely a nice guy and he never intentionally causes me pain, but he is also consistently inconsiderate of my own and other people’s feelings. There are minor annoyances like him frequently ignoring me when I am with him so he can play videogames [I enjoy them too, but they’re always something I can’t play with him] or being overly demanding with service industry workers despite the two of us being in the industry ourselves. I can deal with this though, I’ve become used to these things.
What I cannot deal with is him slamming doors, throwing things, and just acting like a manchild when things aren’t going his way. This was evident this morning in which he started doing this because I made us pancakes and they weren’t up to his standards. He said they were burnt [they weren’t, he justs likes them to be fully cream-colored], cold, and had too many chocolate chips in them and then walked through the house slamming doors, throwing things, punching things, and throwing my pancakes in the trash. "
I wrote this over 4 years ago, 17 years old, first relationship ever. I'm now 21 years old (so the same age as he was when he started grooming me, we started dating when I was 16 and he was 21) and I'd nearly forgotten how shitty this relationship was until I read this. How blind and naïve I was. I thought I was so mature for my age, which was the reason I wrote the first paragraph obviously to show everyone how I was so different and ~*not like other 17 years old*~ ahahaha. But I was a fucking kid. I can't believe I called him a nice guy and under the same breath I explained how he intimidated me with violence... over PANCAKES. You can't make this shit up. I almost want to laugh, but knowing how that violence progressed into abuse over the years just makes me sad. I can't even imagine dating someone like him today (and you sure as hell wouldn't find me dating or even hanging out with a seventeen year old at my age---- yikes). I am so grateful I got the balls to let him go when I was 18, when he did his usual pattern of breaking up with me because he found some other cute young girl and then crawling back when he realized she didn't want him. I'm glad I stayed away that time, because I met someone actually great. Someone who at the point that I wrote that post, I couldn't even imagine existing. That's growth.
submitted by sindoreis to offmychest [link] [comments]


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